Stardate -312451.7040525113, Bird Park update

I have a terrible habit of rewriting posts after I publish them. I had to start this one just to pull myself off of the last. No wonder a novel takes years. And while I'm on the subject, thanks to those who responded to my mumblings about needing readers for my "manuscript" though, to be accurate, I was more thinking out loud than recruiting. I am not anywhere near letting other people read that gaggle of words, but I will keep your generous offers in mind should I ever manage to develop the thing past blobhood. I find it invaluable to hear my writing through different ears.

In other news, Mr. Lee saw Baby Q. and his parents yesterday. That's the little fellow who nearly drown about a week ago. I guess he can now fly now. Wonderful. There is a young quail couple in the park as I write this but I don't see a baby with them. I hope he's still okay. It's a treat having a family around as quail don't hang out in the Bird Park much during July. Seems this place is more their spring fling single's bar than nursery. A huge group mixes it up here then but disappear when things get serious. Too bad. Quail are the most fun to watch.


But, even without them, the Bird Park is plenty busy. There's the chummy pool party pigeon set, nimble melodious red wing blackbirds, shrewd daring starlings, tiny cute sparrows, hilariously cantankerous finches, sundry drop-ins and lots of swank skiddish magpie and a big family of noisy spindle-legged juvenile crows, plus mom and maybe dad, who are very cool in an edgy kind of way. The young ones hop and dash after their parents chortling and squawking for handouts and, when they get the brush, chase each other. Crows are smart and long-lived so I'm thinking the parents are probably card carrying members of the Park scene. Makes sense as they are unusually tolerant of me, sometimes simply hoping up on the fence when I come out. One fellow in particular greets me with a lot of sweet talk. It doesn't take much to get a treat and he knows it.

The biggest change is that Snooky, the scrawny blue-eyed Siamese who recently adopted our next door neighbor Dwayne, has claimed the lonely shade of the quail's abandoned lilac bushes bar as her own. She's not a punk like the two little gangstas who hunt here but try telling that to the birds. She chills the mood. Snooky appeared this spring after Clarance the Bastard (and I mean Bastard with the greatest affection) died in his arms. And Dwayne is dying so what should I do? Chase off his one bright light in a smoke gray twilight? Snooky is welcome.

Stardate calculator

Thea Bell update

Baby Thea

I haven't posted many photos of Baby Thea and now, at 14 months, she suddenly is not a baby anymore, she's Thea Belle. This is all going way too fast if you ask me. Anyway, I thought I'd better do a little catch up because it's quite clear that keeping up with Thea Belle is a full time job. These photos are from a recent graduation party for two of her cousins and an uncle.

Thea Belle

gettin' down


in her little brown dress.


Good thing cousin Dillon


is now a lawyer.


A lady always


needs someone


to watch her back.

Texas to Taxco

Here are a few photos from my recent trip to San Antonio.

Bunny Bob does Hard Rock Cafe.

Bunny Bob came with me to San Antonio but once there he dumped me for my friend Katie. He's no fool. Purple is her favorite color. She always wears, or at the very least, has purple at hand... plus she's a costumer at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. With her he will have a steady supply of cool purple pants and a booth at the Oregon Country Fair. Actors. But I gave him my blessing because, in fact, Katie can give him a better life but I am going to get him the purple car. It's not that I'm trying to buy his love. No really.

What can I say? I love birds.

My kind of place.

Being vegetarian, I found the food in San Antonio atrocious. Actually it's a Texas thing. Anyway, their specialty, of course, is BBQ flesh followed closely by very greasy Mexican cuisine. The first night I had a supposedly grilled, but in fact drenched in oil, veggie casadilla. I gave most of it to the birds and poisoned myself with the greasy chips and yummy salsa instead. After that I lived on Subway sandwiches and Hard Rock Cafe veggie burgers and fries. Mmmmmm fries. Very bad. Anyway, the Animal Puppet Theater made up for all that. I spied it in a window below the sidewalk embedded in hand-chiseled stone wall along some metal stairs leading down to a very funky basement "souvenir" shop, the kind that seems a front for something else, perhaps the after hours voodoo market?

Now for three perfunctory Alamo art shots. You didn't think you'd get off that easy, did you?




And two perfunctory shots of San Antonio's River Walk.




Actually, the River Walk was really cool and, even better, it reminded me of Taxco, one of my all time favorite cities. If I ever run away from it all, Taxco is on my top three places to disappear into.

Taxco... my fantasy escape.

The dog on the top of the stairs is Martha, my friend from the restaurant.

You can't edit a blank page

I need a reader. This spring I finally dug up and printed out my now four-year-old NaNoWriMo manuscript and am currently halfway through the first read. Other than being determined to make the required word count, having had no expectations from the start is a good thing. The fact that I can read it at all is encouraging but it's a slow go. Thus far, I have managed only two sessions, months apart. I am surprised to find that it amuses me. This morning one particular section had me laughing out loud. Why can't that be enough? I said from the beginning that there would be no plot but, now that the manuscript exists, it needs one. Why does this all have to be so goddamn complicated? I read the funny part to Mr. Lee this morning but he wants a story goddammit. I'll read it when it has one. He's not a first draft kind of guy. That fucker would red pen a suicide note.


So I am half way through the first read and won't inflict it on anyone at the moment, but I need a reader. Okay. Okay. So that reader will have the same response as Mr. Lee, but WTF?! I have assembled 50,000, 12 pt. words on 197 double spaced, one inch margin pages. What else do you want from me? Blood? I know. A plot. And there is one, buried throughout the manuscript, like a dismembered body. Yes. Yes. I must sew my Frankenstein together but what the hell? That's work. Anyway, somewhere along the line I am going to need a reader, not a teacher, a reader. Doesn't every writer get a reader? I need a sounding board, someone to complete the loop between the ears, self to self, heart to head, someone who can help piece together the map of the story, the one I wrote in invisible ink, tore into tiny pieces and ate. Anyway, it's too soon for a reader. Just thinking out loud.

Harvey Pekar, RIP

RIP Harvey Pekar

Thanks for the memories. You're right. It matters anyway.

So... I dedicate today's inane Bird Park video to you. Baby crow had a good morning. In case you're wondering, the baby in this clip is the one flapping his wings and chasing after his mother with an open mouth. So whatever death is, I hope you had a good morning too.

Oh Oh Os!

Awhile ago I did a post slagging Trader Joe's for wimping out and turning their Joe's Os breakfast cereal into a mealy nothing, like all the other breakfast cereals. In fact, they did not. This afternoon, Mr. Lee pointed out to me that I had mistakenly purchased the regular Os, the version made for ordinary people. You see, Joe's sells two versions of Os, regular and the red box Fiber Os with extra fiber, lots and lots of fiber, with so much fiber that eating a bowlful feels like you're eating a bale of hay. I begin to wonder if I'll ever get to the bottom of the bowl. I chew and chew and chew so long I forget I'm chewing, and when I do remember again, I'm only half done. In fact, Joe's Fiber Os are so chewy that I sometimes fear my teeth will be ground to nubs before I finish breakfast. If you made a paste out of Os you could scrub oil stains off the driveway or use it to sand barnacles off a boat. I am delighted knowing that the world has not completely given into the sissies. So, as amends to the venerable Os, I share with you this video by Keith Haskel. I don't know if this is viral marketing or what but I don't care. I think it's just him having fun but, either way, he speaks the truth of the red box.

Saving Baby Q.

Remember those two quail families I wrote about the other day? There were some 15 babies between them. Well, all but one of the babies have disappeared. I don't blame the cats. They are following their nature but I am sad for the quail. They are innocent, really fun to watch and defenseless. I am, however, disgusted with our lazy, irresponsible neighbors. They could at least put bells on their little fat ass lions. WTF?


Anyway, Baby Q. is the only quail baby in the Bird Park right now and he had a near fatal accident the other day while walking on the edge of pool but, in the end, it turned out okay.

Police report

“Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are gods.” -Unknown

Again with the cats. This morning I chased two lunkers out of the Bird Park where they were hunkered down in Old Man Hills, planning their next kill. I was surprised... a) by how fat they are and... b) their flash response to my growls. The bastards were up and over the fence in a flat two seconds. It was a magpie who alerted me to their presence. Seems they consider me the Bird Park police.

Today's birthdays

Happy 103rd, Frida.

Source

Also, today is the
Dalai Lama's birthday.
He's 75.
Happy B-day, Dalai!

Thailand, all good things must come

...to an end. Enjoy.

July 5 - In this final email Mr. Lee, esteemed guest blogger, kindly cobbles together not only some "best of" tips from his recent adventures in Thailand, but (finally) includes four very excellent photos he took along the way to leave us with these last tasty.....


~assorted bits~

In Ayuthaya the men in green vests are taxi drivers, maybe the only taxi drivers, and their taxis are tiny motorbikes. If you are born riding this way and are small, you will ride gently, gracefully, talking on your phone or perhaps reading the daily news, and if you are female you will even ride side saddle. But I grabbed onto the driver like I was drowning and I didn't let go. I wasn't going to fall off the back of his bike with no helmet, not into traffic. He was mildly perturbed when he dropped me off but I let him overcharge me by a dollar so what the hell.


Of all the Thai massages I had, the one in Ayuthaya was the best. It was pure local style, not for tourists, and I was the only Westerner in the place. Forget about your Swedish massage, Thai massage is communal and social and people chat and talk on the phone and grunt openly with pain and pleasure. There is no oil and you wear the clothing they provide. In my case, this was a comically tiny suit that covered to my knees and elbows, but nobody seemed to care and a couple ladies who were also being massaged asked me if I liked Thai massage and how often I got a massage and I said yes and weekly and they seemed to approve. My masseuse was short and round and his hair was frosted with blond highlights and I'm not judging but I have never been groped quite so vigorously by a man. It was the best and most thorough massage I had in Thailand.



Just outside Khao Yai National Park, Thailand's first but now just one among many, I saw two million bats fly out of a cave at sunset. It took an hour. They streamed out in a twisting column. It was a miracle. It happens every night. And then I walked among them as they fed. The next day, inside the park, I saw gibbons and hornbills and deer and macaques and snakes, poisonous and not, and I saw a sun bear climbing down a fig tree and a spider as big as my hand. It was the start of the rainy season - how much more exotic to call it what it is, the beginning of the monsoon - and the leeches were mustering and I had to wear leech socks which at first I thought were kind of a joke but later came to appreciate mightily. Leeches are surprisingly fast. They stay on the ground and whip around when they sense you coming and attach to your boot and work their way up looking for soft skin. They burrow into folds in the leech socks and wait for opportunity. Some move above the sock cuff, above the knee, onto the pants. They are relentless, they are the zombies of the animal world. Once, I stood off the path and peed onto the forest floor and the leeches came from all sides, inching toward the stream, looking for...food. I stared at the leaf scatter and the dirt and I stared into tiny mouths of hell. I checked my legs for leeches and moved on.

The ticket lady at the Bangkok municipal pier shortchanged me by a buck. I watched her shortchange other tourists while I waited for the riverboat. Later, a really helpful tout claiming to work for the government made me board a tuk tuk and negotiated an actual Thai fare, for which I was grateful, and sent me to "Thai Pier" on the Chao Praya River, the big muddy running through the heart of Bangkok, for an overpriced tour of the river and canals. I declined the river tour and really only got on the tuk tuk because I was tired and hungry and because there would be food sellers by the pier (and truthfully because I just wanted the novelty of paying what a Thai person would pay for a tuk tuk ride).

I found a food in Pak Chong, gateway to Khao Yai National Park, a food which could rival my beloved flan. It is called Kao Neow Sankayah. It is sweet sticky rice made with coconut milk and topped with egg custard and wrapped in a banana leaf. Ok, so it's flan, basically. Ok.



--M. Lee

Big thank you very much, Mr. Lee. Happy Travels.

Sound of one hand clapping.

Nature's little gangsters

The neighbor cats

I chased these guys off the fence again this morning where they sit everyday looking for baby quail, which they eat like popcorn. Bastards. Since I got back from San Antonio yesterday, no sign of the 15 or so babies that were in the Bird Park before I left. I fear the worst.

Babies and Baglady Buddha

Reentry is hard. Extended travel changes the mind. In fact, I don't think you really ever quite change back or want to. I haven't, don't. I didn't leave the country this time but, being gone even a month, I felt pretty detached when I got home and now Mr. Lee is going through it. And he really went feral, I will say that. Reentry takes time. Easy for me to say. I get to go to San Antonio tomorrow for a few days. It's a drag that I am leaving so soon after his return but that's the way it is. And besides, a couple of days alone to sweat it out may do him good. And I will be home Sunday. BTW, he has promised me one last post, a follow-up and recap of his travels, so stay tuned. And yes, I am still waiting for some damn photos.


Anyway, the big news is that we have our first two families of quail babies, just hatched, still rumpled and fuzzy, just....just out of the egg. They are out running around as I write this and too cute for words so here are some blurry photos instead. More to come, unless (and until) the neighborhood cats eat them. These little guys are like popcorn to those bastards. If you have a cat, for god's sake, put bells on 'em. They kill everything in the vicinity, just because they can. By the way, those are not weeds you see in the photos. It's a wildlife corridor/cat baffle for the quail. And besides the quail, there are a couple of very noisy magpie babies and some young 'un crows in the neighborhood, all somewhere in their terrible twos (months) that squawk all day long. But I love it. It a bit of jungle here in the desert.


It just occurred to me I am very in the rears with photos myself. I haven't even posted anything from the Reno Spoken Word event I read at a couple of weeks ago. So here's one and a promise for more, redeemable at your local Language Barrier outpost trading company store sometime in the future. I call her the Baglady Buddha. Is that disrespectful? Would the Buddha mind? No mind.


WTF? What the hell back hand, left hand mudra is that, Baglady Buddha?

Home

As I write this, Mr. Lee is winging his way home from Thailand, via Hong Kong. Winging, that sounds kind of nice, as though he's a huge, transoceanic bird doing what birds have always done, dipping and diving, floating, gliding and shooting wind currents the way a raft shoots the river's rapids. Unfortunately, this is not the case. He is stuffed into a too small airline seat that does not recline and, other than occasional stretches at the back of the plane, is stuck there for some 20 or 30 hours, including time spent waiting in airline terminals for connecting flights, iow... hell. He is flying backwards into our Saturday and, at this point, though it is morning here, he is somewhere in our last night, cramped, sweaty, maybe watching a second or third movie though one eye on a Saturday that just won't end.

Remember an Elephant Day

Remember an Elephant Day!

June 24th is Remember an Elephant Day so be sure and kiss an elephant today, oh and give her an extra wheelbarrow full of watermelons, apples, peanuts and other tasty treats. But, even if you can't do that, always always always boycott circuses that keep animals captive. Remember, an elephant likes a 100 mile stroll before breakfast, something she can't do chained to a wall.

Mr. Bun

July 21 - Mr. Lee, our Barrier guest blogger, discusses the finer points of international cuisine from the ancient city of Ayutthaya, Thailand's second capital.


Mexico has Chedraui, Thailand has the Big C. I love Big C for its a/c and its food court. I love Chedraui for its flan. In fact, I could never completely love a country that is flan-less, but in fairness I haven't yet sampled every Thai desert. There's a lot of cold sweet jellied stuff here that is sort of flan-esque and I could maybe make an adjustment.

Photo Kate Raynes-Goldie

Plus, Thailand has Mister Bun. Mr. Bun makes a humble little bun which resembles the Mexican bun but is oh so very much more delicious. Mr. Bun buns are crunchy, chewy, aromatic and scrumptious. I have had two flavors, coconut and coffee. I know the coffee flavor probably sounds weird but trust me. It is fantastic. It makes me very happy.

And Thailand is also the home of the extremely delicious, made-while-you-wait, deep fried banana/egg donut. A Bangladeshi banana woman sold me some in the market place one night. Unfortunately, I am beginning to think she must have been a hallucination. I have driven by what I thought was her corner about a dozen times. I swear she told me she was there every night, but I'll bet she was just there because it was the weekend, maybe? Maybe she told me she was at the Night Market every night? I don't know anymore. So, class, remember that you must savor what you can when you can because the opportunity may never come again.

I am so close to the Nat. Park that I am going to tough it out and go. Nature is one of my grounds, a true source of strength and insight, and I will regret it if I don't go and if I spend so many hot shitty days in the shit hole that is Bangkok. I'll be on a 2-day tour. I wonder if anyone else will be on the tour?

--M. Lee

Ugly American

June 21 - Happy happy... more from the Language Barrier guest blogger, what's left of him as it all melts down in Ayutthaya during south east Asia's record heat wave.

Two Guys and a Trip

Is the term Ugly American still used? Because if it is, I am the ugliest I've ever been. I rented a motorbike from a woman bartender today. I mention the gender because the bike was her personal machine and it was pinkish and the keychain was long, I mean really big, and furry and fuschia. Maybe a whole rabbit's leg de-boned? The Ugly: I don't know the speed limit here, I don't know any traffic laws, I can't read any of the signs, I can't even speak the language, I drive like a maniac, I am completely and blithely unaware of local or national customs (although I do know not to disrespect the King because that will send you right to jail in a hurry and for years)...when I do my laundry, which is often because I'm continually soaked in sweat, I go out in public in old surf trunks and a ratty shirt that looks and smells like cats clawed it and then peed all over it. These are my wash and wear items, the stuff that I rinse in the sink, that dries in minutes even here. It's an imperfect system.

More Ugly: It's too hot for my brain to give a shit. Sure, there's a decent part that yearns to, but I just can't be bothered to learn any Thai. After so much travel in Latin America, where criminals are crafty and mean and sometimes dangerous, the scams here are a relief. Stuff is cheap and I overpay and overtip and just don't care. You want to what? Overcharge me by 50 cents? Oh, you're a sly one ahahahahaha, please, go right ahead. Let me round it up for you to a buck, ok?

This is not me. My brains have been cooked into something else. On the plus side, I'm friendly to dogs and children and grannies and criminals alike and always smile and never raise my voice. Big happy goofy guy. Here, have a dollar.

--M. Lee

Michigan J. Frog does Thailand

Or is it the other way around?

June 20 - another contribution from the Language Barrier's vagabond guest blogger Michigan J. Frog in his gallant attempt to pad my blog...


Now that I am self-consciously a "guest blogger" I'm finding it hard to write. You know the feeling and now I do too. I'm not really inspired to travel-rant which is really the only time I enjoy writing at all. And now that I'm trying to craft them, the words just won't come. In this one sense at least, this trip has brought us closer together: I finally appreciate some of your artistic pain. Writing is hard and slow if you have to wait for inspiration to do it (but fuck that shit, 'cause I ain't gonna do it every day, not ever, 'cause I have NOT been chosen to write.). Photography, even as primitively as we do it, is hard. It's impossible to shoot people well. I have failed and failed. Even with objects, it is almost impossible to capture what you are seeing. You will get something and sometimes it will be nice, but you can't ever shoot what you see (it reminds me of what Dad once told me in a rare candid moment about playing jazz when he said he was always trying and always failing to play the music as he heard it in his head). And the battery ran out of juice while I was at Sukhothai. Woe.

Thai Panda blog

So today I'm going to continue my exploration of Thai historical sites. Ayutthaya, close as it is to Bangkok (about 50 miles), gets much more tourism than other places I have visited. I prefer to avoid tourist places - they can get ugly and warped like trash-eating street macaques (I tell you, the first time one of those little bastards bares his toothy fangs and stares you down while hissing at you, you will have monkey-phobia too because I don't care how badass you are on the internet, in real life you will be outnumbered by a thousand to one and those little fuckers can bite through a coconut). On the other hand, tourist infrastructure means English menus and free wifi, so it's not all bad.

Daily Mail

It's 8 AM and I'm sitting in the shade in front of a fan and already sweating. Where's my motorbike?

Thai Panda blog

--M. Lee

Buddha on the road

Old Sukhothai


I thank Whirling Phoenix for posting this lovely photo of old Sukhoithai. Other than one charming picture of his rented motorbike, I am still waiting for photos from Mr. Lee but he did email another post to share so back to Thailand, this time in the lovely old and new city of Sukhothai again on an old motorbike...

June 18

I'm staying at the TR Guesthouse in New Sukhothai. Yesterday, I set off for Old Sukhothai. The history is not clear, at least not to me, but many will tell you that Sukhothai is something like the origin of the Thai monarchy or possibly the cradle of Thai culture or even civilization and that its origins date to the 13th Century. Let's just say that it's an important historic site, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, and it's full of old buildings and old Buddhas, all in a park-like setting.

Every single piece of literature you can find on visiting Sukhothai, no exception, will tell you to rent a bike near the front gate, and this is good advice. A bike is a lovely way to visit the park. But I was born to ride and you know it was way way way too hot to pedal. I got my motorbike, the oldest and the crappiest one yet, and I hit the road. Seven miles later I was at the entrance.

There were one thousand children there already, mostly on bicycles, mostly dressed in pink school uniforms. Most of them wanted to practice their one English word on the only foreign visitor there. They were polite and good-natured and I said "hello" back 500 times throughout the day. It was hotter than hell, probably 100 degrees. I talked to Buddhas, listened to monks, sat in the shade, ate lotus moon cake, drank water, said hello to children. All good things come to an end, and I made my way back to my room before dark.

Another day, another site. Si Satchanalai is like a sister city to Sukhothai except it gets few visitors and is less restored. It is also a UNESCO World Heritage Site. It was too far for the little crappy motorbike, so I took a bus. This was stressful. I know I am a visitor here but Thailand has been part of the gringo trail for decades and yet it is shocking how little English there is. I didn't really plan this trip and I didn't learn any Thai but it would seriously help. I asked six different people to help me get off the bus (getting on the bus if fairly straightforward as New Sukhothai has a nice bilingual bus station) but this concern of mine was completely incomprehensible. Turns out, someone did help me get off at the wide spot in the road that is the entrance for Si Satchanalai. Without help, I would have missed it completely. On the bus ride back, I saw two Thais miss their stop by about 10 miles because no stops are announced ever. Probably happens all the time.

Wat Traphang Ngoen -Sukhothai, Thailand - photo by Taiger808

I rented a bike (sigh) for one dollar and had the park to myself. For me the place was 20 times better than Sukhothai. It was right on the river, it was covered in trees and wildlife, it had better buildings, though fewer Buddhas, and a temple with the remains of 36 life-size elephant statues. It was one of the most photogenic places I've visited in Thailand. I entered the site on a wood-planked pedestrian suspension bridge over a broad muddy river fringed with dense vegetation and palm trees and so damn picture perfect. Too bad I forgot my camera battery. I took it as a message from the Buddha to let go of my attachments and live in the moment and with only a few pangs that is what I did.

--M. Lee

Ps. In all fairness I can't really hold it against Mr. Lee for failing to supply me with tons of photos. Even I once fell into an irrational stupor while traveling in another country and was completely unable to download my photos until I got home. It was very strange but faced with a crappy, beat up hotel computer and connection, I froze. I like to think I'm past that now but who knows what lies up the dusty road?

Ayutthaya, Thailand - photo by aheu

Reno, Spoken Views

I am staying in Reno tonight after reading at Spoken Views monthly open mic. I heard some really good work. It was better than Berkeley and more energetic. I'm glad I finally went.

Note to self

I've been home for a few days and the birds are just now beginning to return to the Bird Park, one or two here and there, although the ever faithful 7 o'clock magpie was right on it, gobbled up the kibble the minute I returned. She doesn't miss a beat. But it's lonely here without them all, even the quail have disappeared, and it's especially lonely since we cut down the big cottonwood tree that stood majestically over it, giving shelter to all, predator and prey. The park feels really exposed and vulnerable without it. We didn't want to cut it down but Dick's widow wanted to do it and, after all, it was just over the property line on her side so it was her call. It shocked us all. It was a great tree, really defined our little enclave but she wanted it gone and anything to keep the widow happy I guess. The rest of us neighbors thought of it as Dick's tree and were amazed she wanted to cut it down. Old Dick is barely cold in the ground. Anyway, the birds are slow to return, the weeds are high and Ratfink is still cavorting around Thailand which leaves me simultaneously jealous, lonely, insecure and grateful. The jealous part is self-explanatory I suppose, as is the lonely part. I am grateful because, in his absence, I finally made it to the Bay Area and connected with the poetry scene there. I was always waiting for him to go with me. Lame. I have to go back. Must not forget that. It is so easy to get lulled by our everyday life when he's home. Note to self: Must remember. Must go back, with or without him.