Ps from Thailand

Travel in paradise, news from the Language Barrier guest blogger Mr. Lee

June 11 - Ps

I'll call you in my morning after my coffee and with a full charge on the computer. It takes days notice to make arrangement to get off and go somewhere and I haven't been sure where I'll be going and that takes many hours of research and this tiny computer is too tiny and sometimes the internet goes down for hours and I still have to book a 7-hour overnight ferry ride to somewhere I've never been, a ferry ride in which I'll be crammed like a sardine below deck onto a potentially bed bug infested thin mat 3 inches away from my fellow Thai travelers, no a/c, diesel fumes, body fumes, finally arriving at a port I've never seen in a place I've never been. To suffer like this takes copious research.

L.

Adventures of the Thai-Dragon

"Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why." -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Circumnavigus Interuptus

June 11

I paddled as hard as I could, almost, but the sun and heat won. And the kayak, not much of a boat, tracked poorly and wallowed like a pig. But the water was lovely and the sea was calm. I did not come close to a proper circumnavigation; even in a real sea kayak, it would have been a serious challenge.

But I own that boat for 24 hours. Cost? 5 American bucks. Gonna paddle south when the sun gets a little lower.

You know that feeling when you are so coated with grime - the sweat and the sunscreen and the salt and the peeling skin - and it seems like nothing you do will ever make you clean, and everything you have is coated with salt and dirt. I feel profoundly dirty. I love the sea but it coats everything and then slowly eats it alive.

Wait, as I sit in my room overlooking the water, I see that another patron is paddling off with my boat! The outrage! I better go investigate.

--M. Lee

Thailand express

Thailand

The last time something from Mr. Lee appeared here at this outpost border crossing we were exploring Mayan ruins together in the Yucatan. Now he's in Thailand and I am not. It sucks. I miss him like crazy but it's clear the Universe wants me in the jungles of Berkeley exploring the poetry scene and I have found, after repeated attempts, that it's best to not argue with the Universe. Anyway, but and so for your reading pleasure I give you Mr. Lee our Language Barrier Guest Blogger du jour writing from the sunrise side of a Gulf of Thailand island paradise.

June 4

Do you like shadenfreude? I know you do. I'm racing against time here with only 22 minutes remaining on this satellite internet connection from bumfuck thailand (yes I found it). Power is supplied by generators and is only on 6 to 12. Internet was not working for me yesterday. Today is ok but like I said, time limit.

I am on the island of Koh Phangan. I flew to Samui and took a ferry. I am on the remote (where else) east side, a little place called Than Sadet. Thai kings used to come here so it is good enough for me.

I was the only patron at Plaas (do not be deceived by the web site, should you go there). Other than four drunk Germans smoking cigarettes around a table, I am the only person here tonight. Tourism is way off in general and it is also the start of the rainy season. I have a great bed, probably the best bed I have had in weeks. It is soaked in my sweat since the fan goes off at midnight. It is so hot here it is hallucinogenic. I can't be sure I am actually at a computer writing an email to you. I am nearly out of time now.

I had hoped to hang out with other travelers at least occasionally. I will move tomorrow to a little more populous place. Will it have internet? I do not know. Please do not be alarmed if you do not hear from me for a couple days by which time I will surely be off this island and on to other parts (the enduring irony here is that I went to this island for a little peace and quiet from the city, a place to gather my thoughts do a little research maybe even skype with you. a bitter irony indeed)

Please feel free to enjoy my plight. Savor the schadenfreude.


June 5 - Here's my "blog post":

I caught the "ferry" from Than Sadet this afternoon, destination Thong Nai Pan Noi, still on the island of Phangan. As lovely and budgetarian as Than Sadet was, it was really too hot and too isolated. The isolation alone would have been ok, but the heat was crippling without electricity to power a fan. Plus, no internet, and I need internet to make plans on the fly.

As I say, I caught the ferry but it wasn't a regular ferry as you might picture a ferry. It was a large boat and it beached, sort of, and I waded to the ladder and handed my backpack up and climbed aboard and then we sped off. There were three other passengers from somewhere else. I spoke to a taciturn Thai who seemed not to understand me at all and I was certain I would not reach my destination easily or quickly but somehow the boat dropped me off (in the water) right in front of my "hotel". It could not have gone easier.

I was the only person to disembark. My hope to meet other travelers is dimming for the moment, but we'll see who gathers around the water hole tonight.


June 6 (after finding lost passport)

sumbitch blended into my luggage, slipped behind a panel...I emptied out my luggage 3 times and the 3rd time was the charm...but first I hopped in a cab toward last night's lodging after trying and failing on each one of their phone numbers...they are really cut off and have no power until evening...was going to go there, find passport, catch the ferry back...stopped the taxi after quarter mile and decided to rent motorbike - cheaper and faster - eventually, I made it there on scary eroded dirt tracks ("you scratchee bike, dragon fucky fucky you long time!") and no passport. Had a great lunch and, dejected, I headed home. Decided to go through everything one more time before calling the US Consulate and BAM!, chinese dragon have pity on me.


June 7

Yes, I disembarked into bathtub-warm water up to my knees and waded about 20 feet onto the shore.

Had a Thai massage in Bangkok (G rated, with clothes on!). It was in a wonderful, relaxing old wooden house in the middle of the city and I was the only customer. I was prepared for lots of pain and a bit of coughing and phlegm from the masseuse, but it was really ok. More than ok, it was great.

I rented a small motorbike for a couple of days and have been exploring the island, cruising through dense jungle roads to get to distant beaches. The place is empty of tourists in general except for a few Germans.

For a variety of reasons (inertia, distance from anywhere else, tricky ferry schedule), I'm finding it hard to get off the island. Not a bad predicament, all in all.


June 10 - Your good night is my good morning

I'm renting a kayak tomorrow ($10 for the day to give you an idea of how cheap it is) and I will attempt to circumnavigate the island, something that is appropriate for a solo dude. I don't got to answer to no one, I just got to paddle. I'm crashing right now - I'll let you sleep and fill you in on the details as soon as I can.




--M. Lee

Poetry express

I read at the Poetry Express open mic on Monday night. It's held at the Priya Restaurant on San Pablo Ave, a little hole in the wall with a friendly staff and really tasty, cheap Indian food. Poetry Express is another of Berkeley's many groups. They are not only good poets but nice people. I am so glad I finally made it to the Bay Area to check out the scene. (thanks universe et al) The facilitator also invited me to be a feature reader at some future event but we set no date. Whether or not either of these invitations actually pan out, it's great to meet people who are not only doing things themselves, but also like my work.

Berkeley graffiti

Woman in the Wall

So here I am on what I promised would be an Epic American Road Trip (implying, of course, that I would be sure to post the adventures here) and nary a word. Of course you understand that I was being ironic. I have no money so that severely limits my options along the way but the universe compensated. Thanks universe. I've got your back. Anyway here's a quick update for the record.

As the fates would have it, I hooked up with an old friend while I was in Ashland. She was on the loose and up for an adventure and, in a happy synchronicity, her dad called and offered the use of his garage apartment for first two weeks in June. So here we are. Richmond, CA. In the hood. Other than someone squeezing off several rapid fire rounds yesterday it's been really quiet. At night the stranded earth out the window becomes a streetlight lit savanna for the neighborhood cats; in the day it returns to a sad parcel of earth defined by opposing chain link fences. The cats don't mind. Neither does the earth who watches it all come and go.

I read poetry at an open mic in Berkeley the other day. The group's host said he'd like to invite me back to be a featured reader sometime next winter. Great, though from here winter seems a long way off. We went to a Thai place afterward for dinner. Terrific. My new friends. Tonight I am hoping to read at another open mic in Berkeley. This is, after all, the point.

Stone's throw

I am out and about in what used to be my home town, but it's not anymore. I am what's left of us... of me. I am the beast inside the child's stone plaything thrown 10,000 years ago.

Trip update

Yesterday was Baby Thea's first birthday. It was a very sweet day. She's a delightful, happy little girl. She's already walking, signing some (ASL) and definitely working on her English. She amazes and fascinates me. All in all, I was in Portland just over a week and left today. Now I'm back in Southern Oregon and not quite sure what's next. A friend and I are talking about going to the Bay Area together but we haven't worked out the details yet.

I've been out almost two weeks now and am just beginning to sense a little distance from my life. It feels good.

Rainy day Oregon

Mr. Lee and his mom made it safely to Hong Kong. Actually, other than the shitheads at J & V Travel, I hear it was a great flight, great airline, great hotel, and the tours J & V booked have been outstanding, although yesterday's 12 hours odyssey was a bit much. And now they are having a great time in Beijing. Excellent.

As for me, it's odd being back in my old Southern Oregon stomping grounds, this trip in particular. It's my state of mind. I drove by the empty field that used to be the Medford A's stadium. Dixie and John owned them, bought the team after watching Field of Dreams... including some hot young rookie pitcher who was throwing balls about 100 miles an hour. She and I sat behind the catcher and timed him. But John's vision faded and with it his enthusiasm. They sold the team, left town. I don't know what happened to the kid. Or them. All gone. The team is gone. The stadium torn down, the field reverted to grass. If you didn't know, you wouldn't know. And the lumber mill that was in that part of town... long gone. Really long gone. Before John and Dixie came to town. But the old duplex in Ashland where I used to live... it's fixed up, white picket fence and all. Slugs used to crawl up through the hole in that bathroom floor and lounge around on the walls, probably why my daughter is so repulsed by them, even to this day, no matter how I plead their case, that it was not their fault, that they are just little ol' slow moving, don't mean nobody no harm fellows. Hates 'em. Anyway, it's gray and rainy here. I leave for Portland in the morning. Baby Thea's one year birthday is next Tuesday. That is soooomething.

Friday update

M. Lee left this afternoon for China. It's been a helluva week. Murphy's Law was in full force. When he left he still wasn't sure if he had a seat on the connecting flight from San Francisco to Hong Kong and I won't know for a couple days how it turned out. All this was the result of going through a funky ass Chinese travel agency in Oakland by the name of J & V Travel. NEVER USE THEM. He needed to make a slight change to his ticket but the wankers at J & V Travel were totally unwilling/ignorant/rude and or stupid to get it done. I needed to make a similar change on a ticket I bought recently directly through the airline. It took a one minute phone call. Anyway, I'm sad he's gone. It really changes the way I look at my surroundings. I'm glad I'm leaving in the morning. It won't be an epic trip but at least I won't be moping around here. When I was a kid I tried digging to China with a tablespoon. He seems that far away tonight.

Our day

Bad Mother's Day ~ May 10, 2010.

Yippee. Why can't everyday be Bad Mother's Day? Well, 364 days out of the year anyway. The goodie-two-shoesers can still have their one day.

Bad Mother's Day gift suggestion

Bad Mother's Day is right around the corner, Monday in case you've forgotten, and since I created Bad Mother's Day a few years ago, search engines have been directing people looking for bad mother's day cards my way. The keywords tell a sad tale:

"bad mother"
"bad mother's day"
"where do i find bad mothers day cards"
"mother's day message to mom + bad relationship with mom"
"mother's day cards for a bad mom"
"Mother's Day Cards-Awful mom's"
"mothers day cards for terrible mothers"
"you are a bad mother" mothers day cards"
"really bad mother day cards"
"mothers day card for a sucky mother"
"lousy mothers day cards"
"rotten mother mother's day card"
"shitty mother's day cards"
"shitty mother, mother's day card"

This year, to help our fledgling holiday along, I share with you a Language Barrier "Best Of" gift selection for The Day... the Better Marriage Blanket. Okay, I know it's a little last minute but I did it, didn't I?

Anyway..... yes, this gift might have saved your parent's marriage but all that is water under the bridge now, isn't it? The Better Marriage Blanket is a must have in any case, but especially if you are one of the many Good Children who has inherited their Bad Mom in her declining years (age 25 to 99). It contains a layer of activated carbon fabric, the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons. Perfect! Not only will you be obeying the Fifth Commandment to honor your Mother, it is a gift to your whole family. Even if you want to shirk your duties as a Good Child you owe it to them to purchase one for her. Her cat will thank you too.

Day in the life

This poor pigeon, his leg is swollen, red and inflamed. It probably throbs and hurts like crazy. He got tangled up in fishing line. That stuff is such a menace and it's everywhere, mountains of fishing line, abandoned nets, hooks and miscellaneous crap tossed or lost by thoughtless idiots worldwide. ARG!!!

Oakland resident

We are back in the Bay Area for the weekend dealing with the ongoing task of helping a family member transition to a new living situation. She got kicked out of the Royale.

I would love to have freed his foot.

It's a complicated story. The Royale is a great place but she's got problems they can't handle so it's all for the better. In any case, Charlita the Cat doesn't seem to mind so that's one in the plus column.

Lady at the bus stop.

Vegan soul food in Oakland.... how cool is that!

Lost horizon

WTF?! Let the poor fellow rest in peace.

Spring in Oakland

PETA protest

Christina, as the snake

It was a cold and windy night afternoon but PETA was in town yesterday so I joined in the fun. We were protesting the killing of snakes for their skins and our nearly nude snake, Christina Cho, gallantly shivered her way through the hour. Nothing new for her. She's one of many PETA volunteers who travel the world over promoting animal welfare willingly enduring bad weather, bad attitudes and occasionally being tossed in jail along the way.

In general, people in Reno were pretty friendly but in the last five minutes the cops showed up. Seems someone complained about a woman being inappropriately (un)dressed in public. What's wrong with pasties? Some people....

Brian, photographer and very excellent body paint artist

Afterward, the four of us had a a great vegetarian lunch at the Pneumatic Diner.

Ashley (organizer & driver) and Christina (snake)

Remembrance

Remembrance by Emily Bronte

Local news at 7:07

I took lots of photos of Thea during my recent trip to Portland but was too busy to post them at the time. In fact, they are still on the camera, which has a dead battery because the minute I got home I had to throw myself into the newsletter and now that I'm finished with that I have to clean this wreck of an office. My daughter wisely copies whatever she wants before I leave because I seldom get around to sending photos back to people after the fact. While I prefer to think of chaos as a subtle form of order, it has its drawbacks. Anyway, I am home and today I have to tackle my lair. The chaos here has reached critical mass one more time. Mr. Lee is threatening intervention again (let him try) but it's even too much for me. That's bad.

I am thinking about doing an Odyssey American Road Trip next month, the kind where you throw a mattress in the back of the wagon and go. Mr. Lee is going to China for the month which leaves me at loose ends. Well, it wouldn't be that much of an odyssey I suppose but I could go to Seattle for a week or two, base at my brother's house, and knock around the town for awhile, maybe read at an open mic or two, then head down to Portland and visit Baby Thea again. She is growing up way too fast.

On the other hand, I've been to Seattle and Portland recently but I generally fly. I am not much of a long distance driver. I could go west instead, to Sacramento and the Bay Area. It's way closer. Some Canadian friends we first met in Nicaragua are doing their own Odyssey American Road Trip next month and have been planning to visit us here in Nevada but, lately we've been talking about meeting along the way. If I stay closer to home, I could show them some of the wonders in our little corner of the world and the rest of the month, do esoteric things like make poetry videos that I'll never post. Well, off to wrestle chaos.

Thea in three

Yikes. What was I thinking? There's no time for anything else with a baby. Gotta go.

Baby T.

I'm in Portland for the week being gma. Clark is out of town and I get to help with Baby Thea. At the moment my camera batteries are charging but expect photos. Many photos.

Note to self

The Blog of Innocence: On Blogging and Technology for Writers

Check back on this Blog Of Innocence's article. There may be some useful information here.

Speaking of dreams

Oakland outtakes 04.10

Too tired to remember whatever it was I thought to post about today, as though it matters. It's been another long day. The apartment is finally emptied and done. It's really strange dismantling another person's life. We paid a guy to haul almost everything away, including nearly 30 bags of clothing that had been stuffed, jammed, crammed, packed, pressed, shoved, squeezed, forced, mashed, squished, squashed and rammed into the tiny closets and dresser set.

We asked him to take the clothes to a thrift store but they probably went directly to the dump. We'll never know. We'll never even see him again.

Charlita the Cat likes the new digs. She has a morning and afternoon sunbeam.

No one seems to care that the chair is too close to the fire.

Lunch at the Royale.
I think I'd rather die but what the hell? It's not an either/or situation.

Rainy day Oakland

We had lunch at the Golden Lotus yesterday. It's a vegetarian restaurant in Oakland located across the street from the Oakland Tribune. Delicious. I highly recommend it. Currently, we are waiting for the guy with the truck. All the stuff in the apartment is bagged and tagged and ready to go.

Transitions

I'm in Concord tonight helping with a quasi-emergency kind of thing, nothing too serious (probably) but urgent. We have the weekend to close out the apartment of an incapacitated family member. I have to say, it puts things in a very peculiar light.

Anyway, here are a few photos from last week in Tonopah.









Karaoke goodness is pretty rich but if you're up for more, I posted the second video here.

Ruins of Detroit

Treat yourself to this stunning peek at the ruins of Motor City by Yves Marchand and Romain Meffre.

Off to Tonganoxie

Chief Tonganoxie
When Kockatowha died as Chief of the Turkey Band in 1861, the Commissioner of Indian Affairs refused to recognize Tonganoxie as the chosen successor. Not to worry. Tonganoxie won. He has a city in Kansas named after him. I'm sure that's more than the racist commissioner got for his trouble. Not only that, Tonganoxie's old lodge/tavern still stands. Of course, at this point it's a ghost bar but is more popular than ever now that the drinks are free.

Local news at 6:45

The magpies had to fight the wind to land in the Bird Park this morning. A storm is blowing in. Mr. Lee is ecstatic but he's a ski bum. The birds are not happy. At the moment one just jumped into the middle of the yarrow bush and tucked a tasty nugget there. Hope she remembers. The wind is blowing with such force, she is having trouble navigating even on the ground. Carson Valley is famous for its wind anyway. It blasts over the Sierra with such force that, even on sunny summer days, the currents offer world class conditions for glider planes. It's not so good for cyclists, runners, riders, hikers or anyone else in it. Makes even a walk to the mailbox an uphill trek both ways.

The magpies are still busy stashing food for the upcoming storm. I have been feeding them cheap small dog kibble lately. They seem to like it okay and I like it because it's cheaper than peanuts and not messy. Peanuts are problematic. It's the shells. I go in cycles. Sometimes I shell them, sometimes the birds do. When I toss out whole peanuts these days, I do less. That way, competition remains high and the birds fly off to guard their treasure, thus shelling them, you know, elsewhere. Does that make me a horrible person?

Just got back from Tonopah. Great weekend but I didn't take many photos this trip but I will post some soon.

Tonopah

Behind on everything but this morning I'm off to Tonopah for the weekend. See ya from there.

Cruel world but there's always NaNoWriMo if you don't feel bad enough already

I had laugh at the photo my daughter emailed me yesterday. So much for the new toy I sent Owen the dog. I guess it lasted about a day. Cruel world. The santa bear I gave him for Christmas lasted a week.

The big news around here is that the other day I finally printed out the manuscript I wrote a few years ago during NaNoWriMo. I finished it a day or two before the Nov. 30th deadline, or more accurately I belly crawled past the required 50,000 word finish line, called it good, encrypted it and emailed it to the NaNo word counter bot who counted it in about two seconds then shot back my NaNoWriMo "winner" badge, sort of like receiving a gold metal in the "special" Olympics. I then filed the manuscript and that was that. I never read it and tried not to think about it.

However, I thought I might have lost it during a recent computer upgrade so the other day, out of curiosity, I went looking. The shame over writing such total crap has kind of faded. Time heals. And there it was. It seemed harmless enough so I released it from it's digital limbo. It lives incarnate in the world as black ink on white paper. It looks impressive, especially printed out in 12 pt. Courier, double spaced with 1" margins, 197 pages of .... well ... words. I started reading it and kind of like some of it, although it is shamelessly about nothing. Uncle Monkey, Ugly Bear and Clarence are dubious.


Other than that, I'm headed up to the lake this morning. Some writer friends, also NaNoWriMo gold medalists, put together a weekend retreat. I planned on going last night but got to the base of the Sierra and was turned back by the flashing red CHAINS REQUIRED sign. I'm sure most people forged on, chains or no, but I did not. Okay. Gotta go.

Sunday morning coming round

The magpies weren't so sure about having sesame balls for breakfast this morning. I don't blame them. Sesame balls are greasy little gut bombs that sit in the stomach like a boat's anchor, not a high energy breakfast that gets you up and going. And then I scared them off anyway fiddling with my video camera. Crap. I consider myself the friend of all wild creatures but I am the one who usually scares them off with my enthusiasm.

Breakfast in Bird Land

Until this morning, I'd never seen a bird bump into a branch mid-flight. It never occurred to me that they might do such a thing. Cross off another naive assumption. The magpies came early this morning. I wish I'd had my video camera ready. Even through my office window is desperately in need of washing, their arrival is a thrilling sight, well not for everyone I'm sure, but I think it's pretty cool and I'd like to share the scene with those who also delight in the small wonders of ordinary life. However, doing so will first require that I recharge the battery and, if I want to do it right, washing the window so don't hold your breath.

I've been putting out small dog kibbles, much easier than peanuts and cheaper. I suppose I've gotten lazy. I don't imagine cheapo dog food is as delicious as hand-shelled, bite-size peanut bits but the daily preparation got tedious. Kibbles are the backup, like mac-n-cheese when you don't feel like cooking dinner. My kids got their fair share of those kind of dinners growing up. The most egregious slop I served was my very cheesy Spanish rice. I mean cheesy. There was a glob, matey. Ker-plunk. Dense enough to sink a pirate's ship. But it calmed them down. They slid off their chairs after dinner and just disappeared. Plus it was tasty. In my defense, another default dinner was tofu and broccoli stir fry but they preferred the Spanish rice. So I don't feel too bad feeding the magpies kibble. They gobble it up.

There was a fight in the Bird Park this morning. It was short-lived but rather thrilling, what with the screaming and milling crowd. One magpie had another on his back and was drilling into the poor fellow's neck with his fearsome black beak. For a second there I thought he'd kill him. Magpies are fierce with lots of attitude on top. They even land with a certain passionate swagger. It's more like a crash landing. They hit the ground running then hop furiously toward whatever object they're after. Wouldn't want it to be me. If you happened to be down, say in the desert, they would peck out your lovely eyes before you had time to blink. Magpies are classy though in their black tuxedos and white starched shirts. Preeeety. I am surprised more of them don't wear top hats. A shiny black stovepipe top hat really sets off a formal ensemble.

The crows came late as usual. I don't know what's up with them. The cheese and peanuts bits are gone before they arrive. A hunk of cheese went bad so the birds get it and there are some loose peanuts at the bottom of the peanut box so I've been including a few of them every morning as well. They are highly prized but the crows miss out on the good stuff. Go figure. I believe, in general, crows are considered smarter than magpies. They are more cautious. I suppose that's because they are smarter. Fools rush in where crows fear to tread. At the moment, a few magpies are finishing up the leftover oatmeal. It's always the last to go.

Dylan Ratigan keeps it real

Tired of the lies? MSNBC host Dylan Ratigan will cheer you up. Watch him interview "Tea Party" leader Mark Williams. It is a rare and brilliant journalist who doesn't allow himself to be a tool for lies and hate. Refreshing.