Checking in

Still in Medford. If I'd known we were going to be here so long I'd.....I don't know. At least the weather's been good. We've been biking a lot. That goes a way toward preserving sanity. Otherwise, haven't been doing much. Playing Dominion. I'm in limbo. It's my own fault. That isn't exactly good or bad but...it's bad. It's a lack of imagination.

Limbo by follower of Hieronymus Bosch via Wikipedia

When I was a kid in Catholic school, the nuns taught us that limbo was where babies went who died before they were baptized. Unlike everyone else in limbo, they didn't get tortured. They just didn't ever, for all "eternity", get to see god. For the grown-ups, limbo, or purgatory as the nuns called it, was the same as hell except that it lasted one second less than forever. Kids are expected to believe grownups, especially ones in long black robes but come on! One second less than forever? WTF?!

I just looked up limbo at Wikipedia. The "official" definition is more of the same patriarchal, hair-splitting, legalese bullshit. My gods religion sucks. It's fantasy at it's very worst. Yuck.

Happy Spring Equinox 2014

The exact moment has passed. Depending on where you live it happened at 16:57 UTC. In case you're wondering what time that was, there's a good converter here. In any case, it's Spring. That's a good thing.

Yellow Shoes

I posted a new poem at AnnaSadhorse the other day. Well, it's not new. I wrote it in 1988 for Lawson Inada, Oregon's poet laureate from 2006 to 2010. I was taking a writing for publication class from him at the time. One day I was wearing yellow shoes, ankle boots actually, and had my feet up on the chair in front of me. Lawson was talking, walking back and forth in front of the blackboard, when suddenly he grabbed one of my feet, held it up and told me to write a poem about yellow shoes and bring it to class the next day. So I did and here it is.

Beijing Alley Dame NOIR

Beijing Alley Dame

As per Roy's suggestion (thank you very much) I give you Beijing Alley Dame NOIR! The question is, dare I post it in The Film Noir Mood? Yes, I did take the photo of the alley but I shopped her in and that part is rather corny. They take their noir pretty seriously over there.

Alleys at night

Dusty old Beijing alley at night
from last autumn

It's nearly 2 am. I can't sleep. I've been skimming the news. Had some peanut butter. Sometimes that helps. It didn't. Now I'm in the front room. When I look through the sliding glass door to my right I can see the amber lights of the town through the bare branches of the trees. I can hear the cheap clock ticking from the kitchen and the ringing in my right ear. When I look directly up from the screen I stare into pure black. I can't detach. Can't drift into sleep. Now my eyes are adjusting a little to the room. Light reflecting off the glass of a picture hanging on the wall opposite me emerges from the blackness. I can see the outline of the dark ceiling above the white walls. I'm restless inside. Unused. Disconnected. The I Ching tells me I must endure this eclipse.

Oregon update

Post-surgery is a drag. For all the medical advances, cutting the body open, poking around, pulling stuff out and sewing flesh back together is crude. No way around it. But, in spite of all that, Kathy was home the next day and is doing really well. I was under the impression that after the surgery we'd have the complete picture of what we're dealing with but no. We're waiting for the results of the most recent biopsy and still don't have a prognosis. They didn't get all the cancer but that's what radiation, hormones and chemo is for so on we go. That's the news. Not the best. Not the worst.

I lived in this valley for over 20 years so I know a lot of people. We both do. That makes things much easier. Plus we've been spending most evenings playing Dominion with the game group. It's not just us. People get obsessed over this game. M. Lee sent me a link to a discussion at Board Game Geek in which some guy announced he was planning to play though the entire collection of cards alphabetically. Not too likely. Someone else replied: "So, if you play a game every 10 minutes, 24/7, you  can play though all possible combinations in only 549,518,481,835 years!"

Napoleon with his favorite black and white toothbrush

Today we've been kicking back. M. Lee is in one room on his laptop and I'm in another on mine. I've been posting photos to flickr groups since mid-afternoon with a short break for dinner. Then, about a half hour ago, I found the Film Noir Mood Pool. Naturally I joined but then couldn't find one photo in the thousand plus I've uploaded to flickr that fit that category. How could this be? I love noir. It was a shock to see how one-sided my focus has been for the last few years. I finally rooted out a couple of images that kind of work, after I removed the color but still, this will not do.

News at 10:33

Finally Minerva and her magpie companion dropped by the Bird Park today for some peanuts and kibble. It's the first I've seen of them this year. The place is incomplete without them. She was a little too big for the branch she's trying to perch in but that didn't stop her.

We are back in Nevada for a couple of days to pick up a few things. Kathy, M. Lee's mom, has her surgery next Friday and we need to be there to help her out afterwards. It's great to be home, if even for a bit. The sky is blue and everything is where it's supposed to be. Ah well. When we're here any length of time I get restless. It's the curse of the gypsy soul. And speaking of wandering, my ADHD-PI is really out of control today. It's such a drag.

Whatzup

OK. I have to roll this thing forward. That means get out, crank the crank and spit out a new top page. It's a very clunky process in the way that the first cars were very clunky. I don't feel up to writing anything but it has to be done. So, by way of a whatzup, for the last few weeks we've been helping M. Lee's mom navigate the rounds of tests and doctor's appointments. Mostly that has meant waiting and wondering. At least tomorrow we get the prognosis. And we'll go from there.

And since we're here anyway, we've had a couple of game nights. We have stacks of board games but are currently addicted to a card game, Dominion. It's all anyone wants to play, well except for M. Lee who recently decided we should get back to regular board games, at least for awhile. We all agree in theory but end up playing Dominion anyway.

Last night we played three games. The first was basically a contest between Shane and M. Lee. They both got their strategies going right from the start and it was impossible to catch them. Not only that, the gods were completely against me. I had good cards but they never came up in useful combinations. During the second game Michael, who's new to the group, was the first to gut everyone with the King's Court/Thief combination but, in the end, M. Lee managed to crush us anyway with a King's Court/Laboratory. I won the last game with a simple Big Money strategy. That irritated the hell out of everyone.

Bird Park update and other news

Gnocchi for breakfast. Doesn't sound all that good to me but the magpies and starlings loved it. It was very freezer burned but that didn't stop them from gobbling it up. Around 7 AM the Bird Park is busy as usual but after that the action really drops off. I'm thinking it's the weather. It is unseasonably warm but then what's a season anymore?


As for me, for awhile I was obsessed with increasing the view count of my photos at flickr. It's a simple formula, more groups = more views. My goal was to get a thousand plus views a day. It didn't happen everyday but, when it did, those views were spread over several photos. Then I posted one photo to reddit and blam! In one day there were a thousand plus views of one photo. Sure, it was an especially nice photo but zowie. The trick there is posting to the right subreddit. Photos posted to a catch-all group like /r/pics move down the front page pretty fast but, in more specific subreddits like /r/ArtPorn/ or /r/CityPorn/, photos tend to stay on top a little longer. Again, a simple formula, front page = more views. I'm on to other things now but I suppose I'll be back at it soon enough.

I'm also still fiddling with enlargements and framing a few pictures. Costco photo is cheap and easy as long as the dimensions are right but I've been having a hell of time with one that's slightly odd. The learning curve. It's a bitch.

Geo-tag: "Visitor from a mysterious place with no name"

And finally, and most importantly, we'll be spending the next several months helping M. Lee's mom who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Currently she's working her way through the tests but surgery, chemo and radiation are indicated. Fortunately, the five-year survival rate for women her age is 85% so we are very optimistic. Plus, she's a very vibrant person, interested in everything and always ready for another adventure so we're thinking she'll do just fine. This waiting period is the hard part. I think once treatment gets underway we'll all feel a little better. So winter in Oregon. 

Tonight

The days go by. We are in Nevada. It is night again. And cold outside. The snow has not melted. The shadows are aglow with it. More snow is predicted tonight but otherwise, the land is in drought. The worst in history. The ringing never stops in my ears although, most of the day I do not hear it. I am grateful for that. I always valued silence.

I am gripped by melancholy but stay busy. I need to hurry but have nowhere to go. The I Ching has advised me, "Scurrying like a mouse. Such blind panic increases the danger." M. Lee sent me the link to the song I was looking for. He's good at reading the moment from the other room.

Lines Past Death

I sat with my Uncle all day the day he died. That was Saturday, February 1, 1992. These poems greeted me when I brought his ashes home to Southern Oregon a few days later. He had mailed them to me from Portland the day before he died, Friday, January 31. In the accompanying letter he  wrote, “All I need is a chance at a new peace”. He died the next evening with me sitting by his side, our faces touching, breathing together. I’ve taken the liberty of calling this collection, “LINES PAST DEATH”.

LINES PAST DEATH

The two were dressed in black, in what seemed like rented clothes.  They went to the man in the next stall, be still, is all I could do.  The man had died.  They took him away on a palette covered with a royal maroon cover and deposited him in a long station wagon.  So he passed his time, in a setting of principles.  No more to be seen.  Only the rented costume comes to mind as I write.  THAT was a fancy way to leave his guest.  Like a disappearance. 


#2

evergreen and birch trees and a small bed of roses…low evergreen shrubs and a lawn on either side of an entrance walk.  Crows scan the higher branches and frighten other birds.  The distance cold alerts one and the winter sun tries to subdue the body’s alarm.  Still, it is day, and we have the whole affect of nature to subdues us    and bring peace.


WINTER

A stalwart, winter day,
seen through the vibran
escapade of voices,
leaves me to wonder at the meaning left behind.
enlivening the shadow of this,
puts the mind at ease.
Where the January sun causes
steam to rise from the grass,
enfeebling cold fingers more.
To move is a mundane project
of prospects made whole
by the failing man seeking
to encase the situation
into something respective to itself.
Cold out, he said and felt in his pocket for the next phrase.
Only metal sounds and the body thrusts viably to taste the cold air
circulating on its tattered edge.


VARY AND VARIANCE

sit well – and sleep well,
‘til all these things stand still.
The existentialist needs somewhere to go.
incidental to the truth.  how depressing =
stay. and see if you like yourself.
cold are the winds of January.
grey, dull forces of winter, cleansing of the topical mind;
male and female appear to take away the body of summer.
You go – I’ll stay, adrift are crows, caw-ing in the twilight.


ONE BRIEF INSTANT OF GRACE

After some few weeks of silence, I long to show the contour of such meanings as could survive a hallway of elders and a nursing home; lunch.  The fittest apothegm means to be oneself elsewhere, and neglect to conclude what this does.

Leave the tray a while.

Why eat all the time


~John Chance, 1992

Note: The word "vibran" is Haitian creole for "stirring".
_____________________________________________

:))) Project Swami. :)))

Me & Swami in Beijing

Since he was stolen by a pickpocket disappeared at Angkor Wat, I am searching the world for just the right person, someone who can make another Swami. I hear there are people who are very adept at reconstructing legacy dolls etc. so I have compiled photos of him and have his dimensions for just that purpose. If you happen to know, or hear of such a person, I would be extremely grateful. Thank you in advance.

Here and gone

Lots of action in the Bird Park these days but now we have to leave again, though this time only for a week. I put out a bunch of apples for the interim. This batch wasn't very good but somebody will eat them.

Since we've been back, I've spent a good deal of my time fiddling around with matting photos. Cutting a mat is a simple formula but, as I'm just getting started, the entire process has turned out to be very time consuming. I've had to assemble the tools, deal with enlargements and touch-up, find suitable frames. I bought a pair of interesting 12 x 14 frames at a second hand store but, being new to all this, I didn't realize what a pain in the ass they'd turn out to be because that is a non-standard size. Anyway, it's a work in progress and now, once again, I've gotta go.

Monk on morning alms walk

But before I do, just to brighten up the page, I've included a photo from our time at Angkor Wat, well actually from the town of Siem Reap. That's where everyone stays when visiting Angkor Wat. The monks make their daily rounds. They stand in front of a shop for a few minutes and generally the shopkeeper comes out and gives them alms. It's a sweet deal both ways, a practice in humility for the monk and an opportunity to make a little good karma for the shopkeeper.

Squirrel Appreciation Day Eve

Hey! Buddy!

Tomorrow is Squirrel Appreciation Day! When you're at the grocery store tonight, pick up some special goodies will ya? Peanut butter sandwiches are great but, you know, so everyday. Come on. Sky's the limit. Go for it. Feed me.

Then and Now

The photo is from an album my mother wanted with her on her death bed. She is the girl sitting on the dock. I wrote this poem for her. Today is the 35th anniversary of her death.

Note on arriving home

Just wanted to note that we got home last night from what was essentially a nine month trip, save for the couple of weeks in the fall when we stopped by to repack for Asia. Naturally, the first thing I did was fill the bird feeders, scatter some seed for the quail and leave a few peanuts on the table for the Seven O'clock Magpie, figuring it would take a couple of days for her to realize that I was home. She showed up this morning. That's my girl. Didn't miss a beat.

Saturday parade

It's Saturday. Time to crank this thing forward. It is the new year after all. Here's a photo from a recent Saturday in Thailand. This wasn't purely a Buddhist parade, but the students were in it along with marching bands and whatever. This is one on the many photos I've posted to flickr groups lately. It's fun growing the stats.

Recipe for a Winter's Day

I repost this Marvel Meal recipe every winter but it's good all year round. It's cheap, easy and fun to make and birds love it. Give it a try.

Marvel Meal - homemade bird suet

1 cup peanut butter (crunchy or plain  BUT NOT SALTED*)
1 cup vegetable shortening
4 cups cornmeal (yellow is higher in vitamin A)
1 cup white flour (nor self-rising)

-optional-
sunflower seeds, chopped peanuts and other nuts, chicken scratch, apple bits, dried fruits, sugar, bird seed etc.

• Mix peanut butter and shortening. (It helps to melt them first in microwave.)

• Combine cornmeal, flour and any optional ingredients and stir into peanut  butter/shortening mix.

• Form into shapes that fit your feeders

• Store remainder in refrigerator or freezer

• Feed the birds

*SALT IS VERY BAD FOR BIRDS. IT CAN KILL THEM SO BE SURE TO USE ALWAYS UNSALTED PEANUT BUTTER.

After a long hiatus, I've been spending a lot of time on flickr lately. I have so many photos and have rediscovered flickr groups. Panoramio is just not that interesting anymore. It's fun posting photos to Google Earth, but that's about it.

We left Portland this morning and are slowly working our way south. It was great seeing everyone. The grand kids are heartbreaking sweet and growing up way too fast so we have visit again soon. We're in southern Oregon for the next few days and planning to drive back to Nevada on Sunday.

M. Lee's mom has been doing some serious estate planning since we saw her at Christmas. She hit us with it all as soon as we arrived this evening. She's in good health and spirits but decided it's time to get her affairs in order. I still haven't done that. This year. I've got to do it. It's a must.

2014, day two

We're in Oregon now, with the family. It's great to be home. As usual, I'm on the run. Here's a great article titled, How to Beat Procrastination. I've read half of part 2 and finishing it is definitely somewhere near the very top of the 2014 To Do List.

source: Tim Urban

Happy New Year.

Time travelers

So we're back in the US of A. At this point, I've been up for over 30 hours. Now I can't sleep. I'm exhausted but I'm wired.

Monday morning, headed to the Bangkok airport.

Time travelers. We arrived in Medford 45 minutes before we left. The last leg of the flight from San Francisco to Southern Oregon was in a tiny, prop engine plane with one stewardess. The engines were so loud and so full of vibration it seemed the plane might shake apart in the air. M. Lee slept through it all.

Time traveler

I read an article during the flight about Revive and Restore, a research project focused on developing genetic rescues for endangered, and even extinct, species like the passenger pigeon and dodo bird. I so hope they succeed.

Swami enjoyed it all

I will always remember the sadness I felt when, as a child, I read that the exotic, sweet-natured, defenseless Dodo bird was extinct and that humans were the cause. Now perhaps, wiser humans will be able to bring them back.

Back from the past?

In a few days, we'll drive to Portland. We've got a babysitting job there on New Year's Eve.

Hong Kong Xmas Eve

Inexplicable.

Came upon these giant coils of burning incense

while walking down an alley in Hong Kong tonight.

They were hung in a open air alter. No one was in attendance.

This is what I love about the world.

Buddha's lizards

Buddha and his lizards
Sukhothai

We leave for Hong Kong in the morning and, on the 26th, fly from there to the US, arriving in Oregon 40 minutes later. I'm going to miss Thailand and all the lovely Buddhas here but it's time to go, at least for now.

Buddha and his lizards
Sukhothai

Lately, I've been in a kind of emotional undertow. Sensory overload, I suppose. We've been traveling for the last nine months and, though I'm not all that excited about returning "home" I think, for a while anyway, it's where I need to be.

Winter Solstice, 2013

If you meet the Buddha on the road, he's probably hitchhiking.

Happy Winter Solstice

Place holder

Sukhothai is wonderful. Having a motorbike to get around the site was perfect. The inner city alone covers 30 sq. miles. And there are temples in the outer ring as well. All in all, it's a huge area. As always, I took lots of photos but have no time to post them. Today we will go to Si Satchanalai which is also a World Heritage Site. Again, we'll use a motorbike. It will be about 100 miles round trip by the time the day is done. I like noodling around but hate navigating the city streets. Sukhothai is way more mellow than Chiang Mai but it's still chaos. Okay That's it for now. Gotta go.

Footnote to the day

We're leaving in the morning for Sukhothai. It's a five hour bus trip from Chiang Mai. As usual, I have been unable to keep up with things here. We did a Wat crawl a couple of days ago. I took lots of photos but haven't had a second to organize them. The next day we did a 70 mile loop on the motorbike. I haven't really made peace with motorbikes yet but it was nice to get out of town. We saw some elephants along the road carrying tourists on their back but didn't stop. I didn't even photograph them. I love elephants but have no interest in seeing them in this context. And last night we had dinner with a friend who told us he used to be a practitioner of black magic. That was interesting.

I did add a few photos to my Facebook page but that's it. It all takes time but first thing every morning, we are up and out. The only time I have for any of this is at night but, like now, it's after 10 and I'm tired. Besides, the thoughts and impressions of the day are long gone.

Tonight some fucktards have turned on their fucking TV and it's blasting out over the courtyard. I'd close the big window but there isn't any glass in it. Yes. I'm complaining. Like JudyBlueSky says, sue me.