I am the fatted rat

It's not a glorious way to enter the final years of one's life but so it goes and I'm grateful for it. Because my cancer is so weird, with no known treatment other than surgery, I've been accepted into 23andMe's first ever drug trial, testing the viability of infusion therapy to treat cancer. It's in phase one, so I/we, the small group of people who are also in the trial, are the fatted rats, following our poor rat brethern who had no choice to but live, be tortured, and die for human-unkind.

Infusion therapy is the new hope of the 21st century. It's not poison like chemo. The Covid vaccine is infusion therapy. It doesn't directly attack the cancer. It's like sending Switchblade drones or TB2 Bayraktar drones to Ukraine. The drone unmasks the orcs tanks hiding in the trees so soldiers can bomb them. In the same way, infusion therapy unmasks the cancer cells hiding behind their own camouflage alerting the body's own immune system to get to work and blast them. 

So far, so good.

In the Presence of Absence

 "You, who only know love when in love, do not ask what it is, nor do you look for it. But when a woman once asked you if you were in love with love itself, you were evasive and escaped by answering: I love you. She persisted: Do you not love love? You said: I love you, because of you. She left you, because you could not be trusted with her absence. Love is not an idea. It is an emotion that can cool down or heat up. It comes and goes. It is an embodied feeling and has five, or more, senses. Sometimes it appears as an angel with delicate wings that can uproot us from the earth. Sometimes it charges at us like a bull, hurls us to the ground, and walks away. At other times it is a storm we only recognize in its devastating aftermath. Sometimes it falls upon us like the night dew when a magical hand milks a wandering cloud."

In the Presence of Absence by Mahmoud Darwish - Palestinian national poet.

Roe vs. Wade 1973

I'm not surprised. Republicans started pounding the abortion wedge into people's minds 50 years ago, after the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court ruling in 1973. Don't be depressed. Be Ukraine. Take back the night! Take back the day! Take back your rights before they take them all. Just don't quit.

Summer Solstice 2022

Just by way of observing it, welcome to beginning of summer in earth's northern hemisphere and the official beginning of winter in the southern. I do think we have to start thinking of the big picture, of life on planet earth, not just whether or not, it's a good/bad day individually. A lot of places seem pretty fucked right now, and generally getting worse in others, and the outlook globally is grim and grimmer. 

Individually, we're pretty helpless about it. Changing enough to make a difference must be a collective action and that seems pretty impossible, given governments continued support of polluting industries but one can hope. 

Yes. This is a grim perspective, but hey! The solstice and equinox are a traditional time to pause and reflect on the unity and interdependence of life and that isn't all bad.

Putin's "off-ramp"

Some say we must protect putin's "pride" so he doesn't feel ashamed over his genocidal war in Ukraine. HA! He's already shamed himself beyond repair. He doesn't care. Nothing matters to him. He uses everyone and everything. Drive the son of a bitch back into the hole he crawled out of.

Here's a great article from Substack on the subject by Timothy Snyder : The folly of "off-ramps" When Ukraine wins the war, Putin will build his own" Check it out.

Spring Equinox 2022

Behold the Good Vibe Solar Collector. Even in the worst of times, there is always something to be grateful for. If I can do it so can you, and I'm doing it, so do it. If you can't come up with anything to grateful about, take all you want from the Good Vibe Solar Collector. It's free!

Collecting good Spring vibes for you for free!

 
PS. Happy Spring Equinox, 2020

Strange days

Strange days have found us.
Strange days have tracked us down.
They're going to destroy our casual joys.
(The Doors)

Russian warship go fuck yourself

Test coming

One of my friend Lawrence's favorite stories was how his martial arts teacher could shout TEST COMING and always manage to rattle the class and, even though we all knew what he was going to say, whenever Lawrence told the story, we'd also twitch and laugh nervously every time he told it. Turns out Lawrence's test was cancer. He stayed centered right to the end.

National Squirrel Appreciation day 🐿

Today, in honor of National Squirrel Appreciation Day 2022, Barney the Beast has prepared this lovely tribute. YAY SQUIRRELS EVERYWHERE! Treats for all . . . every day of the year!

Ok Barney! Take it away . . .

To whom it may concern

I'm here to learn, not teach. If I want it to be the way it was, I will never understand the way it is.

Gas prices

 The price of gas is the life of the planet.

Moving on

For now, this is my/our last day in Portugal. Tomorrow at 03h I will go to the airport for my flight to the US.

"Valeu a pena? Tudo vale a pena se a alma nao e pequena."
"Was it worth it? Everything is worth it if the soul is not small."
Fernando Pessoa, Portuguese poet

"I know not what tomorrow will bring."
He died the next day. 

Pen and pruning hook

They say "the pen is mightier than the sword". True, but not true enough. The pen is a sword, the sword which is sharpened only when I turn it on myself.

Gone are the adolescent dreams of the glory of a tragic death, gone fascination with battles fought, won or lost. The validation of success is a tattered flag limp in the wind's fury. There is no enduring victory, only quiet at the end of things.

They say "beat the swords into plowshares and pruning hooks". The pen is also a shovel and a pruning hook. Dig and uncover the truth of things, the truth within, truth with a small "t". That is the truth that matters. Prune the rest.

Sung - Conflict

 讼

Hexagram 6
Sung - Conflict

Changing lines
/Line Three
He stands on his integrity, no matter what ill winds may blast him. Stand or fall, in the end he will remain exactly who he is.

/Line Four
Realizing the very root of conflict lies within his own heart, he lays down his arms and resolves to accept the things he cannot change.