Dear Aliens

If any of those supposed UFO sightings are real, seems it couldn't hurt to send send them this note:

Deal Aliens,

Please come and save us. We are not evil, just stupid, too stupid to not destroy our house and home and everything beautiful in it. Oh, and yeah, we're violent but mostly because we're so fucking stupid. A lot of us are trying to do better but we're feeble and inconsistent. I know we're just a speck and don't matter to anyone but ourselves but we'd appreciate a hand and will try to do better if we survive long enough to sort that out.

Hoping to hear from you soon. please read before it's too late.

Best regards,
An Earthling


Anonymous said...

We're on our way but Google Maps is down. Can you ask everyone in Roswell, New Mexico, to turn on their porch lights?

asha said...

Thank you! Thank you! Will spread the word. We'll also all leave cookies and ice cold soda on the porch for you guys. Santa likes his cookies with hot chocolate but it's too hot for that right now.

Anonymous said...

Actually it is too hot. We'll be back in October.

asha said...

OK, Aliens. October is loooong over. Where the fuck are you?