Hellholes and blackouts

I spent most of the morning at the Carson City hospital after suddenly becoming delirious at the gym. Lee tells me that on the way I kept repeating, "It's like you just picked me up at the airport, like I've been gone for a very long time" and "Bhaktivedanta would say death has left his calling card".

As you might imagine, it freaked him out. At one point, he asked me if I realized I had been saying that over and over but I had no memory of it at all, although I do vaguely recall him asking that question and me feeling pulled up short and kind of embarrassed. And I have a free floating memory of the Bhaktivedanta quote, but can not connect it to any particular time or place, other than when I said it I was riding in a car. Turns out I was merely hypoglycemic. It was pretty strange, time lost in the loop.

I'm bad. I started Weight Watchers the other day and didn't eat enough on Saturday. Lee tells me that at the hospital I had an EKG, brain scan, blood work etc., I remember none of it. I came to sitting in an exam room about the time a couple of friends show up with a bag of food and the hospital was rolling in a $2000 morgue salad and told me to eat; mmmmm... flesh of murdered chicken draped over lettuce, vegetables stewed in fat rung from an indeterminate mix of unidentified dead bodies, an apple, an orange, and some crackers. I munched an apple. I'm vegetarian but not vegan so we stopped at Subway on the way home where I had a 6" tuna sandwich. I know there are starving children everywhere so I should be grateful for the abundance that rains upon me, which I am of course, but I feel bad about eating fish. Nothing with a face. Anyway, I don't blame Weight Watchers for the episode. I wasn't keeping proper track of my points. I wasn't hungry so I didn't realize I wasn't eating enough. Without getting too mired in explanations, the genius of Weight Watchers is its point system, much easier to track your intake than counting calories or making certain foods off limits. Your point allotment decreases with your weight, and I'm not wildly overweight to begin with, so I started without much of a point margin. I'm going to be good from now on and eat all_my_points_everyday! I like altered states but not creepy blackouts.

Rant n roll. It's bitterly cold out right now. The temperatures are hovering around zero. Our fat neighbors over the back fence are tucked snugly in their little hobbit hole. The music is cranked up and they are enjoying a groove while outside their poor little dog Star is standing forlornly on the concrete slab of her cage with her head down, shivering. I'm infuriated. It is so fucking speciesist! Inside, in the warm, the humans are wallowing in cool "feelings" stimulated by the "soulful" tunes they're playing on their big sound system while their dog, who they claim they "love", stands in the back, half frozen in a cage. Here's the deal. Whether emotions or subzero temperatures, humans are not the only ones who feel things, but whenever convenience demands, we can oh so easily turn our backs on the suffering of others with whom we share the planet. I'm with Ghandi and Schopenhauer on this one...

The greatness of a nation and its morals can be judged by the way its animals are treated. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Maybe I'll call them about Star again. I can't rescue every suffering critter on the planet, but maybe I can help improve the plight of one, little black dog.

Compassion is the basis of morality. ~ Schopenhauer

So...
here are a couple of video links Mr. Lee sent just me. I really enjoyed them and pass them along to you. You might enjoy them as well, especially if you like weird and funny combined. It's the first 2 episodes of a new, original web series at AtomFilms called...

HellHole, Episode 1


HellHole, Epidode 2

HellHole Atomfilms