The ruins of Spain

Early two-legged Earthling
National Archaeological
Museum of Spain

We spent the last two days at the National Archaeological Museum of Spain located here in Madrid. The minute you walk in the door they hit you with the fact that all of Spain is a huge archaeological treasure trove. We saw artifacts dating back 1.3 million years.

Because Spain is a stones throw from Africa and an inevitable destination along the Mediterranean trade routes from the middle east and Asia people, and prehistoric versions of people, have been mucking it up in Spain for a million years and, like people always do, they built and torn down, lost and left shit all over the place.

Gargoyle and me

In America, we marvel at how old something is our grandparents left behind. In Spain, loosen the dirt with a teaspoon, and you find something that someone dropped three thousand years ago. This doesn't mean that I now love Madrid but I do have an increased respect and curiosity about Spain itself. We're hoping to get to a few nearby historical sites before we leave the area but today it's back to Reina Sofia to see a bit more art.

Cloudy day in Madrid

Madrid museum crawl

Our window westward

Madrid. Hemingway loved the place, but I can't say it does much for me. Then again, if I lived in the golden haze of alcohol poisoning perhaps I'd see things differently. M. Lee has taken it to the next level and actually made it personal, even when it rains. In any case, it's clear that Madrid rewards those who start their day late. Even the church bells down the alley do not sound until 11 am. But we are here for the art and, so far, we've been to Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofía once and the Museo Nacional Del Prado twice.

Our window eastward

Our day at Reina Sofia did not start well. The walk there was ok but we needed to find an ATM along the way and, especially in the morning, that is something of a false hope. Maybe it isn't fair to Madrid, but these days Istanbul is the gold standard and in Istanbul ATMs are everywhere, along with public bathrooms. Not so in Madrid. Both are extremely hard to come by. Well, actually it seems there are no public bathrooms in Madrid. You are, as they say, shit out of luck. As for the ATM, we circled the streets for I don't know how long before finding one, of all places, near the museum entrance. Like I said, it's personal.

Fable by El Greco
Prado
photo by Frans Vandewalle

Of course, both museums house the work of world class artists. If you like, take a quick peak here: The Prado and here: Reina Sofia. One painting in particular stood out at the Prado, El Greco's "Fable".  It is perhaps my personal favorite among all that I have seen this week. Yes, there are more important works at both museums, including the Prado's outstanding collection of royal portraits commissioned by the very kings and princes they portray. They are not only masterfully executed, but are meant to impress upon the viewer the authority and stability of monarchy but to me they seem repetitious and vain. Anyway, of the two museums, I prefer the more contemporary Reina Sofia.

So, today we are off to the archeological museum to see who and what lived here before it was Spain. Must remember to watch out for the pickpockets.

Hemingway was here

Sorry. Couldn't resist doing a graffiti title. We're in Madrid and Hemingway spent a lot of time here. He loved the place, called it the "most Spanish of all cities" so "Hemingway was here" is in the air. His writing is one thing but, as I'm not into bullfighting or booze, machismo or meat, I am not that enamored by the lore of “Don Ernesto" as he was called here. If it's not too much out of our way, we may walk by his favorite bar. It's still here, still the same and the same family still runs it. But I have no interest in making a pilgrimage to his favorite restaurant even if it is, according to the Guinness Book of Records, the oldest restaurant in the world. Remember, we are the people who spent many hours over many days in the Louvre and never made it by to see the Mona Lisa.

But, if we do find ourselves on the Hemingway trail, I will photograph the highlights and post them here because that is what I do, make notes along the way, whether they are about the birds in the Bird Park or the bar where Hemingway drank. But, speaking of birds, it was cool this morning watching the river of swallows swirling above the dome of the old cathedral down the alley and rushing through the narrow corridors of buildings in our neighborhood in search of breakfast. We are on the fifth (top) floor and the windows are always open. It is very hot and the apartment has no air conditioning, or screens for that matter. But today we are headed out to the museum. We are in Madrid for the museums, especially the Prado. Not only did Hemingway frequent the place, Picasso was the head curator for some time. This was before the museum realized what shitty administrators artists make.

Castles and their spiders

Walking in Sintra

One of the coolest things about Lisbon is all the medieval castles, palaces and other historic sites open to the public for a minimal fee. Each is fascinating in its own right but our favorites were in Sintra, part of the greater Lisbon area. Sintra has such a rich history that the town itself is a World Heritage Site. We got there twice, one day exploring the Pena National Palace and Castelo dos Mouros (Castle of the Moors) and the next Quinta da Regaleira and the Sintra National Palace.

The inverted tower

Of those, it's hard to pick which is my favorite. OK. Quinta de Regaleira, otherwise known as "The Palace of Monteiro the Millionaire". Monteiro was a true eccentric, a lover of esoterica, the occult, science and nature all brought together with incredible theatrical detail at his estate which is also a World Heritage Site.

Duck pond from a cavern passageway

For us, wonderful as it is, the palace was second to the grounds surrounding it. It's full of exotic trees and plants, paths and ponds, wonderful stone carvings, statues, grottoes, caverns and towers, even strange inverted towers and underground passageways all a collaboration between Monteiro and the great Italian set designer and architect Luigi Manini. After traipsing around the tunnels, we decided they were part of a structure built to look like a mountain rather than tunnels actually dug into one, i.e. a theatre set. All the better.

Minerva at Quinta da Regaleira

We had great fun discovering a few of the more obscure, darker, wetter places between the inverted towers. As for the towers themselves, built into the ground rather that rising above it,  whatever they symbolize, the nine levels of hell, purgatory and/or rebirth, Monteiro's day in they were the scene of secretive Tarot initiation rites and other esoteric ceremonies, and probably augmented with a selection of the world's then finest psychedelics. We did, of course, walk the nine levels and grope our way through as many secret passageways and subterranean grottoes as we could find. I'm not sure we achieved esoteric rebirth but, for my part, I'll settle for none of the resident big black spiders coming away with me in my hair.

Swami on the balcony

The Secret Buddha
of Castelo dos Mouros

In the last two weeks, we also visited museums, the best being the Musea Berardo in Belem, walked through several medieval cathedrals and ate far too many pastéis de nata, Portuguese egg tarts. Decidedly, the best are in Belém but I will say no more. I think it best you come here to decided for yourself. Also we just walked, as is our custom. The narrow, winding, slippery cobblestone streets definitely fit my medieval fantasy. And, as Lisbon is built on seven hills, we walked up and down a helluva lot of narrow, winding slippery cobblestone stairs, including the four flights of narrow, steep, potentially slippery stairs in our charming centuries old apartment building in the Alfama. And after a long day, we also climbed the final fifth flight to our bedroom where we crashed each night like felled trees. My legs are decidedly stronger. Of course, there are more photos at flickr and more to come. It's just that it all takes time. Now we leave for Madrid where, among other things, we must visit the Museo del Prado.

Hilarious complaints to Thomas Cook Vacations

This list of complaints sent to "Thomas Cook Vacations" is making the rounds these days. I didn't take the time to hunt down the source link but they certainly match my neighbor's tone when he returned from his month long cruise around South America. He complained bitterly how offended he was that the people there spoke Spanish.

1. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."
2. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

More here from the UK's Telegraph

Walking Lisbon

My main focus here in Lisbon is to get out of here without breaking my neck. Lisbon is the city of stairs, stairs and more stairs. Our apartment is four narrow, slippery flights up and the bedroom is yet another. Lisbon is a lovely town and, don't get me wrong, I enjoy exploring the medieval streets but good god. Okay. That's it for now. We're going to go out again and wander around. I'm going to wear my new orange sandals. Wish me luck.

Street music from Istanbul

I love these guys. Everybody did. Great fun. We came upon them in Katakoy which is across the Bosphorus Strait on the Asian side of Istanbul. Enjoy.

Culbenkian and friend

Yesterday I got schooled at the Calouste Gulbenkian Museum, all in a very friendly manner of course. I said "good afternoon" in Spanish (buenas tardes) instead of Portuguese (boa tarde) and was reminded that "in Portugal we speak Portuguese". The fellow had a sense of humor about it all so I thanked him sincerely in French. We then went on to discuss the correct pronunciation of "thank you" in Portuguese, (obrigado if you're male, obrigada if you're female). As this language site points out, in Portugal pronunciation is everything.

"Then said they unto him, Say now Shibboleth: and he said Sibboleth: for he could not frame to pronounce it right. Then they took him, and slew him." – Judges 12:6

Delightful elephant

Calouste Gulbenkian was, during his life, one of the world's wealthiest men. He was also an art lover who created, what is considered, one of the greatest private collections. We were both blown away by the number of unique, lovely pieces in his trove. According to his will, upon his death, this museum was created. Generally, photos I take in art museums are lackluster. I leave that to other people. However, I think this charming elephant, done on a huge, gorgeous Chinese porcelain plate, bridges the gap. I suspect this artist had never seen an elephant.

Conversation with myselves

Selfie in Istanbul

I just can't keep up with myself, especially when we're traveling. For instance, after two weeks in Istanbul, I have thus far only managed to post something about Flat Thea. 

Three women under an umbrella

Much as I treasure Flat Thea, this doesn't even begin to touch on the experiences we had there and impressions I came away with. My Istanbul album at flickr has several more photos and many more to come. They do represent, at least, some visual record.

Shop outside the Grand Bazaar

They may be as far as I get but they are important to me as, if nothing else, this blog is a conversation between my past and future selves.

Inexplicable