Birthday strawberries

Today is my daughter's birthday. Her alarm rang this morning just as I called to wish her a happy day, year and many happy years to come. She was born just before dawn that February morning. The night before we had shared a half gallon of strawberry ice cream right out of the box so, once again, I reminded her to be sure to eat her ice cream and promised I would do the same.

Also to celebrate today, I whipped up a batch of Marvel Meal (vegetarian suet) for the bird park. It was a huge hit. Everyone was going for it then a big crow showed up and pried open the cage. Now it's completely gobbled and gone.






My daughter was big, over 10 lbs, and born at home before the midwife arrived. Her (very nervous, well-meaning) dad tried to help but I finally had to ask him to please, just let me be. I'd been practicing a relaxation technique for a while and when the contractions started all I wanted to do was relax and let them happen. I didn't use drugs of any kind but the experience was completely painless, in fact it was ecstatic. It was as though I became a primordial force like a great wave upon which she tilted, riding quickly, easily into the world. Her birth is one of my touch stones. It proved to me that life really does take care of life and that sometimes the best, the only thing we need do, is get out of the way.

I have a strawberry for you, Mother.

It's also my mother's birthday today although she died many years ago. We were never close. We clashed terribly but then I was not easy by anyone's standard. It's hard making amends to a person long dead but I'm picking my way. I like to think it's not, that it's never . . . too late.