Questions without right answers

In response to a question, my daughter said to me the other day, "Why not do it, mom? After all, what are you doing besides blogging about the birds that visit your backyard and tweaking the hyperlinks on your basically dead website? I raised that girl to tell the truth. But is it the "whole" truth? No, if you don't know the background of the question. If you do, she's right. I have a writing project I'm not working on. The new project I'm considering would take time away from that...something I'm not doing. It would take from the time I am currently lavishing on pointless bird stories and web graphics. I say this with a glance to Minerva the crow who is outside at the moment, finishing up her popcorn breakfast. These days she doesn't fly off every time I move in my chair and that delights me. It's the small things. Anyway, I have a decision to make and to be that most obnoxious person who quotes herself, "It's noon at my place on earth."

Surprise yourself

I'm facilitating a writer's workshop next Sunday. By accident. Some people argue there are no accidents but if that is the case then this was happenstance. No doubt about it. Judge for yourself. Ash Canyon was planning to host a workshop/book signing for a UNR professor/poet sometime this month so I called Comma Coffee to see if the 22nd was available. As it turned out, the workshop was cancelled but a writer's workshop was added to the calendar anyway. The cafe print calendar went out with my name on it so what the hell? I'll do it. Come if you can.

Mid night ramblings

Couldn't sleep. Too many ideas running around my head. So I got up, made a cup of cinnamon tea and dinked around on the synthesizer for a while. That was comforting. Now it's just me, the keyboard and candle and, beyond the window, black night . . . edge of the starry, lapping sea. Listen closely. Words cannot go past this point.

Minerva in the rain

Minerva is one suet loving crow. She's been back every day since she discovered it last week.

I know it's her because of the pale feathers on her right wing. And now, of course, a couple of other big birds have caught on to the goodies and she is pissed. There was a brief but interesting mid-air battle which M. won.

She has been keeping me amused today as I worked on the Ash Canyon Review. It's coming along nicely. I've got all the poems formatted and pasted-up. It looks good.

Oregon Lit Fellowships

Here's something for my Oregon writer friends. Do yourself a favor and apply for one or both of these literary fellowships. The deadline is June 24th. There's no entry fee so what the hell? Leap before you look. After all, they want to give money to some Oregon writers. Why not one of you? At the very least you'll get a little more focused. This is an annual event so remember what the spider said, if at first you don't succeed, keep at it.
Touch
Fellowships ranging from $500 to $3,000 each are given annually to Oregon writers to initiate, develop, or complete literary projects in poetry, fiction, or creative nonfiction. In addition, a Women Writers Fellowship of $1,000 will be given annually to an Oregon woman writer of poetry, fiction, or creative nonfiction whose work explores experiences of race, class, physical disability, or sexual orientation. Submit 15 pages of poetry or 25 pages of fiction or creative nonfiction with an application by June 24. There is no entry fee. Send an SASE or visit the Web site for an application and complete guidelines.

Literary Arts, Literary Fellowships, 224 N.W. 13th Avenue, Suite 306, Portland, OR 97209. (503) 227-2583. Kristy Athens, Program Coordinator. www.literary-arts.org

Deadlines

What's the most important thing for a writer? Gary Short had a two word answer for that question recently. A deadline. That's certainly true at around here. Today is the submissions deadline for the first issue of Ash Canyon Review and we've got a fine magazine lined up. Gary and Bill (Cowee) reviewed the final picks yesterday. They are the editors. I did a mock up of the issue and gave it to Cowee last night at the Brewery. He's ecstatic. My god, he's fun to work with. His enthusiasm for this project is boundless. Everyone's excited. And he's right. It's going to be a great issue!

Bush hides from cloud

Poetic Justice by Joey T.

The following was reported by Julian Borger of The Guardian today:

"President George Bush was bundled into an underground bunker, Dick Cheney was evacuated to an "undisclosed location" and heavily armed secret servicemen took up defensive positions when a fast-moving cloud scudded towards the White House, it was reported yesterday. Such false alarms are common, triggered by clouds, flocks of birds or private aircraft wandering off course, but the White House confirmed yesterday that this was not the first time since September 11, 2001 that the president has taken refuge in the hi-tech bunker beneath the building, the Presidential Emergency Operations Centre. It was not clear yesterday what it was about Wednesday morning's cloud that created such havoc. It was moving at about the speed of a helicopter, disappearing and then appearing again on the radar screen, but the same could be said of many clouds."

Ya gotta love it. President Bush, the arm chair psychopath who fancies himself God's Personal Warlord, and Vice-President Cheney, the brains of the smarmy operation, scuttled to their bunkers today to protect themselves from what proved to be a cloud. There is poetic justice in that.

Table for one

Louie

You think you've got problems. Louie reported that Minerva the crow has been back several times today for more suet but at some point the screen holding it in place fell open and Minerva's very upset about it. She doesn't want to go near the damn thing but she wants more. Ever been there? Forget about terrorism, forget about the bunch of lunatics (GW Bush & Co.) infesting the White House, Minerva's world is fucked up. This I can fix. Excuse me, while I go out and close the suet cage.

Crow Woman and Lilth

Dinner at dusk

 Nevada

A crow is having dinner in the bird park as I write this. At the moment, she's gobbling big chunks of suet. I've cut back on the seed lately. Blame it on the pigeons cooing at dawn. But it's Saturday night so I shoveled out the goodies . . . and they came in droves.

Crow treats

French Fry Fellowship

I just reinstalled Hello so here's a test photo. It's from the recent French Fry party I threw in Seattle. Bill Gates, eat your heart out.

New territory

I applied for a Nevada Arts Council Fellowship this year. The council awards $5000 to six individual artists – two in literary arts, two in performing arts and two in visual arts including media arts (film, video). The deadline was Friday. I hand-delivered my 5 sets of 10 poems about 3 hours before the cut-off but I wasn't the only last minute entry. Tim Rhodes, another Ash Canyon poet, passed his envelope through the door at 5pm, just as they were closing. Ah, the drama! Cowee tells me the winners are selected in June at a day long, public event. Until I went through my files looking for material, I hadn't really appreciated the work I've done in the past year. I must say it's mostly due to Ash Canyon and especially Bill Cowee. He kicks everybody's ass into gear.

Bill Cowee, one of poetry's true honky-tonk angels.

PETA and PETCO agreement

Rat Woman, Hagwar and Buug
Invisible Theatre

Good news. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and PETCO Animal Supplies, Inc. announced an agreement today that will advance animal welfare across the country. PETA will end its campaign against the national pet food and supply retailer and PETCO will end the sale of large birds in its stores. As there really is no such thing as a "cage bird", this is encouraging. PETCO also agreed to make some changes to benefit rats and mice, including separating the animals by gender to prevent breeding. A lot of these mice end up as live food for pet snakes. Ugh. I don't respect people who do that. Anyway, now the mice will have a bit better life along the way. That counts for something.

Empath

Another point of view

Perhaps I'm an empath. I've always had the ability to feel and see from opposing points of view at the same time. Grab a few, current hot topics out of the hat... abortion vs. choice, whether or not it's okay to perform medical experiments on animals, the death penalty, environment issues, gay marriage...I appreciate, even have strong feelings for both sides. I wonder how many people are like this. Hard to say. I don't think we make the news. People become famous basing their careers on being one-sided, the more inflexible, the more confrontational, the better. The public loves 'em. In fact, Big Media operates like a brothel madame for the media whores ever busy pandering all the sound and fury the world is willing to pay for.


Big Media Madame


Guess which one is the empath.

But don't assume that because I have a live and let live attitude, I don't have my own point of view. I have a very strong point of view. And I act on it. My bias? Compassionate Progressive. Are you surprised? Why am I telling you this? I don't know. I woke up with these thoughts on my mind and just had a very strong cup of coffee. By the way, did you write your senator yet about blocking the Rethuglican one party rule? See below.

Body screen TV protest

Bound to a wheelchair and repeatedly crossing the road in front of a local KFC, a protester in a giant chicken costume led a protest today against KFC suppliers’ abusive treatment of chickens. People passed out leaflets and held signs that proclaimed, "KFC Tortures Chickens." One man wore a body screen TV showing shocking undercover video footage of chickens in factory farms and slaughterhouses.

What is done to chickens would be illegal if it were done to dogs, cats, cows, or pigs. However, chickens are excluded from the only federal law that protects farmed animals, the Humane Methods of Slaughter Act. An undercover investigation at a Moorefield, W.Va., slaughterhouse that supplies chickens to KFC revealed that workers were kicking, throwing, and stomping on live birds. Recently, PETA released the findings of an undercover investigation of a slaughterhouse operated by KFC'’s number one supplier, Tyson Foods, and found that workers were ripping conscious chicken's heads off, slaughter machinery was systematically mutilating chickens, and thousands of birds were being scalded to death after entering the defeathering tank while they were still conscious.

For more information, please visit KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.

Oppose one party rule

Dickhead Republicans

 

Radical Republicans plan to hijack the nomination process of Supreme Court Judges in their ongoing grab for absolute power. To accomplish this, Dick Cheney says he'll deploy what he proudly calls his "nuclear option". His "bomb" is a parliamentary maneuver to overturn the 200-year-old right to filibuster judicial nominations. Its purpose is to silence all dissenting opinion. Right-wing extremists are passionately committed to crushing all opposition and without a minority voice, democracy is replaced by tyranny. To do so, they must disable the system of checks and balances upon which our democracy is founded and by which it is protected. If they succeed, this will be the first time since America was founded that there is no check on the ruling party.

As a senior adviser to President Bush told Ron Suskind, former senior national-affairs reporter for the Wall Street Journal, "We're an empire now". We are history's actors . . . and you, all of you (people he called members of the "reality-based community", will be left to just study what we do.'"

We can't let neoconservative bullies pad the Supreme Court with "yes men". If they do, they will suppress dissenting opinion for generations. Write or call your Senator and complain. Sign the petition at the MoveOn website and while you're at it, email a letter the newspapers in your area. Silence is compliance so speak up.

Chillin wita Giz

If you have tried gizoogle yet, and you're over 13, you ought to give em a try. It scrambles the link descriptions into a kind of rap-lite. It's a cheap thrill. Here's what I got when I gizoogled my website.

"skyrivizzle poetry chillin' poems, underground wanna be gangsta indie publish'n...

Ashabot Night Crew ... Ashabot tech C-R-to-tha-izzew. Ladybug Ladybug Collaborizzle Deconstructizzle Cairo The lovely Cairo as a cunn'n pup . Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. ... "

Casino talk

The Pope died today. I heard about it at the casino where I went for lunch. The bathroom attendant was discussing it with a customer who was crapping in one of the stalls. I think the poor woman had eaten bad shrimp. Anyway, they were shouting back and forth, comparing Nevada time with Vatican City time, trying to zero in on exactly where they each were when it happened. They were very excited to be in on such a big event. I had to tap the attendant on the shoulder and squeeze past her mop bucket to get to a toilet. They were still talking when the customer finally came out of the stall. She ran her oxygen tank right over my foot but didn't seem to notice. She must run over stuff all the time because when the wheels hit my boot she gunned the tank without even looking down. She had some dribble on her velour jogging suit and was scrubbing at it furiously and still talking about the Pope when I left. I came away proud. No matter what people say about Americans living in a bubble, it obviously just isn't true.

Bush names trophy hunter to direct US Fish and Wildlilfe Service

Bush recently named Matthew J. Hogan, a big game trophy hunter and Safari Club lobbyist, to protect our nation's fish and wildlife. Lovely. The fox is guarding the hen house. No surprise, of course. Bush is all about maximum exploitation. What a fuck.

Seattle seagull and bride's party

I was in Seattle last week for the Wonder Women All-Girl (except for my brother) Welcome Party to welcome the lovely Anita into our family. She is my youngest son John's bride. They had a hasty wedding last spring when his company was called up for Iraq. As of yet, he hasn't gone. So that I don't get heady, I keep in mind that things could change in a second but so far, so good. The "real" wedding is planned for this July. It's all very exciting.

I arrived a day early so I went straight from the airport to my brother's office on Puget Sound. That's him showing me his latest project. He's a bio-mathematician and oceanographer. The next day, before the humans arrived, I threw a seagull French fry and photo party on the waterfront. I bought an order of fries at Ivar's, set my camera on continuous shoot, went out on the pier and waited. Seagulls hang out there all day waiting for handouts. One bird in particular set her sites on me and settled right in. I fed her fries with one hand while photographing her with the other. When Lee saw the photos, he thought I should make her my avatar. He said she exactly resembles me. Perhaps he has a point.





That's my daughter Asia on the left and my "new" daughter Anita on the right. I'm a lucky and very grateful person.

Not my decision

I watched some clips of Terri which seem to demonstrate that she is at least minimally conscious at times and then I am asked to decide whether she should live or die. This is absurd. This is not my decision. I agree wholeheartedly that hers is a heartbreaking situation but it's not up to me to chose her fate. And it's definitely not something I, as an American citizen, want my government butting into. Stop and think. It's not your decision either. Whatever you believe, however painful it is to watch, let it be. Consider yourself a religious, spiritual, compassionate or aware person? Butt out. Pray if you like. Write your own living will. It's sad, but let Terri and her family go.

If you're an anorexic learn from Terri's experience. As I read it, that is what triggered the heart attack that left her in a vegetative state. Now Washington DC gallops to her rescue in a big show of "compassionate conservatism"??? No. Politicians are hoping to increace their political capital. It's Jeb Bush smarmy power grab. Starry-eyed evangelicals are expecting him to break in and steal Terri away.The whole thing is sad.

Imminent rapture

Isn't death supposed to be part of "god's" plan? Judging by the fervor of all these so-called religious people, death is the worst thing that can happen to somebody. Isn't Terri Schiavo supposed to "go to heaven" when she dies? Isn't that what's suppose to await all good Christians? Instead evangelical politicians have hijacked the government and overruled her wishes, as bequeathed to her husband. They have violated one of their own sacred principles, the sanctity of marriage. They are not doing "god's" work. They are doing their own (political) work. If "Terri's" Law, stands, what's next? Bush is on a roll. Obviously, he believes the law is under his thumb. Why wouldn't he? He gets everything he wants. Terri is an incidental; a tidbit for the congregation; a way to bring little brother Jeb onto the bully pulpit. In fact there are rumors today that Jeb plans to rush the hospital and kidnap Terri if the courts don't appease the evangelical fever to keep Terri out of heaven. If he does that, perhaps he'll name her his vice president when he makes his move.


So what else is on the Bush agenda? The Arctic Wilderness is next. And Social Security. And Iran. And whatever. If Bush manages to install his judges on the Supreme Court, the last balance of power is gone. He has big plans for the everyone who doesn't agree with him, not just the Iraqis.

If you're so inclined, you can read more about God's Plan here. Apparently it's all part of the "imminent Rapture".

Big Brother's Little Puppet

The evangelicals claim they're doing god's work. They are doing their own. If it weren't for people prolonging Terri's life by artificial means, she'd have starved to death 15 years ago. Death is part of god's order. At this point, Terri is a puppet in the hands of ruthless politicians eager to keep their constituency happy. If dogs had a vote, these guys would be tossing meat from the congressional steps. They claim to be pro-life, but what they really are is pro-evangelical voter. If they actually were "pro-life", they'd direct their energy towards ending the war on Iraq. Hundreds of thousands of innocent people have died since the US invasion. The number increases daily, yet these bleeding hearts spend their time rescuing a mascot. Even the President butted in. Bush claims he prefers to "err on the side of life" but he's a liar. He's merely playing to the choir.

It's all smoke and mirrors, like the gay marriage hysteria the right-wingers whipped up during the election. What is a very private affair is being used to distract us from real issues at hand such as Bush's attempt to invade the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, his plan to plunder Social Security and direct working American's paycheck to his buddies on Wall Street. The hawks would like nothing more than for us to forget about all the people being slaughtered in Iraq and the mushrooming debt they have stuck us with. The Republicans used to be about limiting government but now that they are in power they are working feverishly to expand the biggest, most invasive, expensive government in history. They are very dangerous men.

Speciesism and Terri Schiavo

This issue over Terri Schiavo has gotten way out of hand. President Bush has butted in; angry women slap duct tape on their mouths and picket and senators who should have their mouths taped shut strong arm the government to intervene. It's an alarming misuse of political power, speciesism and religious hypocracy. Forget that even Jesus said, "What you do unto the least of them you do unto Me". After the reporters are gone, these self-appointed defenders of a human vegetable peal off the tape, go home and eat flesh without batting a teary eye.

If they want to speak up for those that don't have a voice, speak up for the millions of animals and birds who are daily being stabbed, sliced and dismembered with they're still alive. Or demand that government stop killing innocent, able-bodied Iraqi women by the tens of thousands, women who know they are alive, women who have families to care for.

The irony is that Terri was an anorexic who starved herself to the point of death. That's why she is hopelessly brain damaged. Very sad. Very ironic. But it happened 15 years ago. Instead of trying to make her a poster child for right to life issues, why not simply share the story of her anorexia? Brains don't grow back but Terri's example could help others afflicted with eating disorders but her parents are way too selfish and self-righteous to tell the whole truth aboutTerri's condition.

Freedom's just another word for Alternative Energy

I am heartsick that congress has moved another step closer to sanctioning oil drilling in Alaska. We need to be free from oil. Cleaner, alternate technologies have been around for years but they still aren't available commercially. Why?

People minimize the environmental cost of ransacking the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, one of the last pristine wilderness areas on earth. They say drilling techniques have improved. Unfortunately, one of the laws of human nature is, "if it can be fucked it up, we will fuck it up." Okay. Nature will make the balance without consulting us humans. The prospect of drilling makes the Teamsters happy. Fair enough, but in spite of that, ANWAR's drop in bucket would only supply the state of Texas with oil for 9 years and that's without sharing with the rest of us. And it would do nothing to curb escalating gas prices, just like invading Iraq did nothing to keep fuel costs down. Remember when they told us it would?

Some say the issue is "oil shipping route independence." They point out that bringing oil to the West Coast from the north could save us a few trips through the Panama Canal. Nice sentiment but shipping route independence is not real independence. It's another fantasy. It doesn't matter which direction oil comes from. Using oil is the problem. Using oil deepens our already crippling dependency on oil. We must devote our attention, talent, time and resources towards developing alternative forms of energy.



Get real. Freedom in the twenty-first century will have to include freedom from oil.

Tucked in

It takes a little imagination to see the forest for the trees but you can do it if you try.

Trees in Birdland

I bought some cheapass trees and am planting them in the bird park. They will be big enough for the birds to enjoy in about 5 or 10 years. I did get the holes dug today though so things are moving right along. Maybe tomorrow I'll actually get them planted. They're going to be lovely.

Hey, while the trees are growing you've got time to run over and check out the Fifth Annual Bloggies. They were just announced today.

Sad story

I found this story at Animal Writings. It's very sad but instructional and one I think well worth the discomfort of reading it. It illustrates the little known side of elephant life.

Tyke never had a normal life. In the wild, she would be part of a close-knit herd. She would walk by her mother's side until well into her teens. The herd would be her family. She and the other members of the herd would eat, play, and take baths together, and protect each other from danger. They would roam over hundreds of acres of varied terrain, and sleep under African skies. When she got older, she would share in the child-rearing and have a calf of her own.

But Tyke never experienced any of that. She was trapped and taken away from her family when she was a baby. She was shipped to the circus. There, she was confined to a concrete room and beaten over and over, to break her spirit. Circus trainers hit her repeatedly with a sharp metal "bullhook," which made her cry out in pain. They struck her in her most sensitive areas: behind her ears, on top of her toes, in back of her knees, and around her anus. They wanted to hurt her and frighten her so she would be obedient.

She spent most of her time in chains, doing nothing. Her bones ached from no exercise. Her diet was monotonous. She stood in filth and excrement. She was deprived of every aspect of normal elephant life. She hated it.

She was in the Hawthorn circus, which had a track record of animal cruelty violations. In 1988, according to USDA documents, Tyke was beaten in public to the point where she was "screaming and bending down on three legs to avoid being hit." The trainer said he was "disciplining" her. By April of 1993, she had had enough. She tried to escape during a circus performance. She didn't make it. In July she tried to escape again; she was unsuccessful. Hawthorne should have retired her right then and there, as she was an obvious threat to the public. But they didn't.

For the next year she performed in the circus and lived in a barren concrete barn, chained, between shows. The bullhook beatings continued. Her life stank. She vacillated between terror and boredom. She was not really an elephant.

In August of 1994 Tyke reached a breaking point. She had been in the circus nearly 20 years. She was tired of being beaten, whipped, and kicked. She could no longer take the pain and the confinement. She was angry and wanted to be free. At an afternoon performance at the Neal Blaidsell Center in Honolulu, it all came to a head.

At some point during the show, she veered from the script. Circus staff tried to beat her back, but no bullhook or whip could stop the rage that had been building inside her for two decades. She crushed her trainer, Allen Campbell. She attacked two other people. She panicked the crowd. She ran into the streets. It was rush hour. She was disoriented and no idea where she was. She charged at bystanders and smashed cars as she made her way through several city blocks. Onlookers screamed. The police were called out and started shooting at Tyke with rifles.

She slowly fell over, then awkwardly stood back up. The police kept firing. Her head swayed, and her legs buckled. She got up again. The spray of bullets continued. She rocked her head violently from side to side. Her legs gave way once more. She was on her knees and could not right herself. Her eyes were fully open and confused. The shooting went on for several more seconds. Finally, she fell, very slowly, onto her side.

This was Tyke's final performance. The price of freedom from the circus was steep. She was shot 87 times.

For a few elephants, their circus life has a happy ending.

Magic pray rug and talk radio

I got a paper prayer rug in the mail today from a church. Their letter starts out, "Dear... Someone at This Address". I guess that's me. After all, I am someone. They explain that the rug is "anointed with God's holy power" but they're "loaning" it to me for ONE NIGHT ONLY. They said that I can trust that Jesus sees my needs because if I "stare at His eyes on the Church Prayer Rug, I'll notice they are closed but if I relax and continue looking straight into His eyes, I will see them slowly open and He will begin looking back at me." I tried it but His eyes didn't exactly open. They did turn into big, cool, blank zombie eyes though.


They promise that God is going to bless me spiritually, physically and financially if I do four simple things. First off, they want me to send the rug back first thing in the morning. God's a busy man and wants it back ASAP. The other thing I have to do, of course, is pray on the rug. It is prayer rug after all. The good news is that I don't actually have to get down on my knees. proof they are indeed wise men. They know most real true believers are obese. The instructions state that for the magic to work all I have to do is touch the paper to my knees. It has to be on both my knees, like a napkin I imagine, but how hard is that? Then I fold the rug up and slide it into my bible or under my bed and leave it there overnight. Good thing I can stash it under my bed while God does His Work because I don't have a bible. No matter my bed is just a mattress on the floor.. God can squeeze under it. He is God, after all. The fourth thing I have to do before I send it back to the church is be sure to fill out the questionnaire. I have to tell them where to tell God to direct His Blessing.




Oh, and they do want me to send them a little Seed Gift to show my gratitude for God's Work, of course, but I decided against it. You can't be too careful these days. After all, so many religious groups are terrorist network in disguise. Instead, I changed the Church's eagle logo on their envelope so that now he is shitting bombs. Given that terrorists and evangelicals are cut from the same cloth, seems about right. I'm sure they'll appreciate my gift and the fact that I didn't risk sending dough to bad people.



The God Squad is everywhere these days. Flipping through radio stations recently, I caught the last few minutes of a caller complaining about people who support both abortion rights and animal rights. She just can't get her head around it and writes us off as troubling heathens who shamelessly prefer dirty animals to human babies. Another boob from the rights are only for humans bunch. She probably eats eggs (embryos) and occasionally downs a tasty veal or lamb cutlet (baby flesh) and votes for 3 strike legislation to imprison those same, precious babies when they start acting out in the hood. Well lil' lady, I suppose I am a heathen. I don't respect scriptures, philosophies or people that celebrate human or animal sacrifice (including the crucifixion of your Lamb). I also pity the star struck martyrs playing "holy" war (whether Armageddon or Jihad). They aren't "saints". They're brainwashed glory seekers. I, for one, am sick of being dragged along in this arcane argument between a bunch of Middle Eastern pundits (Christians, Jews and Muslims) arguing their blood soaked politico-religion. Screw the whole lot.

I do support abortion rights and animal rights. I also spay and neuter my pets. I am a vegetarian who eats dairy and eggs although I'm very disturbed by the terrible ways dairy cows and chickens suffer at our hands. I don't think it's right or necessary. I have non-negotiable objections to the way animals are raised and killed for the meat market. Live and let live.

Add caption

Popcorn party

I threw a popcorn party in the bird park today.


News spred fast. Crows love to party. Pigeons too.

Spring and molting

I hate beginning with "I" but that's where I am at tonight, in my head, mulling things over. I've been getting rid of more clutter; books, furniture, clothes, points of view, expectations, resistance. Everything is under review, not just because it's spring, although spring always drives me out of my mind, but because it's time. Everybody knows when it's time.

It took me a long time to get one thing straight. I can't put into words exactly what that was but since then I compare everything to it and that's what I'm going on now. The latest things to go were the poems on my website. They were among the least viewed pages anyway so I doubt they'll be missed. I'm going to start submitting them, like everyone else does, to those obscure poetry mags no one has ever heard of, including me. If one gets published, I'll re-post it but not until then. It's a good day. I am making peace with a certain irrevocable sense of loss that is bitter as it is sweet.

Here's to you, Bubba.

However sentimental people may be about Muffy, proud of Rex, or vindicated rooting for the underdog, the idea of animal rights for the masses is generally considered weird or silly. On matters of life and death and what's for dinner, the minister, rabbi, priest or mullah have final say. That means the members of other species are generally shit out of luck.

Rest in Peace, old boy.

Bubba the Leviathan Lobster, as he was called, died today before making it to an aquarium at a Ripley's Believe It or Not museum. His size generated enough interest and support that he escaped the grim fate of lobsters that fall into human hands. PETA (People for the Eating of Tasty Animals) battled PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and kindness won the day. But Bubba died anyway. They don't know why. My guess...fear. I suppose that's better than being boiled alive Here's to you Bubba and all the others.

Keep US courts democratic

This week the Senate is debating the judicial nomination of William Myers III. He's a career cattle and mining industry lobbyist who is now up for a lifetime appointment to the 4th District Appeals Court. He's just one of Bush's 20 judicial nominees that Democrats rejected last term, compared to over 200 that were approved.

These 20 judges were singled out because they consistently picked corporate interests over basic rights, and want to roll back decades of progress on anti-discrimination, women's rights, worker's rights, and the environment. If we don't act now to support a real opposition, these corporate lapdogs will be given lifetime appointments to lock in Republican ultra conservative ideology for decades.

Plus, the Bush administration has threatened to use this fight to take away Senate Democrat's ability to resists any future judges, including Supreme Court nominees.

MoveOn has started a petition calling on our Senators to stand firm against Myers and all 20 of these rejected corporate nominees, and to fight any manipulation of the rules to force them through. Please sign it.