Sunday, May 10, 2015

Oh my god! It's Bad Mother's Day again!

source: http://www.condenaststore.com
 Crap. Yesterday was Mother's Day. That means today is Bad Mother's Day again! Our day, ladies. So I forgot for a few years. Ok! OKKKK! Five. Come on. Five little years and you're all weepy? Geeze! Whatdoyawantfromme? Flowers? Not gonna happen. When did any of you ever send me flowers? That's right. NEVER. Fergetaboutit. Get yer own.


On the other hand, if you are the child of a bad mother and yet, in spite of that, are still such a generous and thoughtful person that even now you want to send your bad mother a gift, I am here to help. Here a few sure fire gift suggestions for you:

1) Buy something on sale at the dollar store or thrift shop. It will make yer mama proud seein how frugal you are. After all, it was she who taught you that a penny saved (by not spending it on you) was a penny earned (that she could spend on herself).

2) Can't take her out to dinner on The Big Day? Send her a box of instant mac n cheese. She'll be feasting in a matter of minutes. Plus you'll get credit for being thrifty. (see #1)

3) Send her a bouquet of dandelions. She never seemed to notice when you picked them for her when you were a kid. They're so beautiful and will go nicely with dinner. (see #2) And if you don't send her the mac n cheese (see #2 again), she can eat them.

Nothing says it better than dandelions
source: http://sparkingsynapse.com


5 comments:

Roy said...

Happy BMD to you! Again. I followed the link to BMDs past, and farther and farther down the rabbit hole, until I found myself listening to the Bass in the Bathtub. So I thought of Groucho Marx: I was listening the bass in the bathtub--how it got in my bathtub, I'll never know. Wait. That's not funny. That was real. Sure sounded good.

asha said...

Hahaha.... you're right. Grocho Marx and the bass in the bathtub do go together in a universal harmony kind of way. Of course we did eventually sell the bass, but we had to take it to Portlandia, the one true home for all bath tub basses and their players.

BTW, I woke up this morning with the thought that I should probably also do a BFD post. It's that universal harmony thing again. After all, we can't have one without the other unless, of course, you're a test tub baby or wait a minute.... ahhhhhhhhhh.... it's the rabbit hole again.

Roy said...

I think I saw an internet ad from the Portland visitor's bureau, and there at the top of the web page was a montage of pictures, including children playing in a stream, people having brunch at a sidewalk cafe, and a bass in a bathtub. Obviously that's a big draw.

asha said...

A bass in a bathtub? Really? I wonder if it's our old bass that used to live in the bathtub. After all, we did find a buyer in Portland. Stranger things have happened.

Roy said...

....just kidding! But it had that ring of truth, didn't it?