Hemingway was here

Sorry. Couldn't resist doing a graffiti title. We're in Madrid and Hemingway spent a lot of time here. He loved the place, called it the "most Spanish of all cities" so "Hemingway was here" is in the air. His writing is one thing but, as I'm not into bullfighting or booze, machismo or meat, I am not that enamored by the lore of “Don Ernesto" as he was called here. If it's not too much out of our way, we may walk by his favorite bar. It's still here, still the same and the same family still runs it. But I have no interest in making a pilgrimage to his favorite restaurant even if it is, according to the Guinness Book of Records, the oldest restaurant in the world. Remember, we are the people who spent many hours over many days in the Louvre and never made it by to see the Mona Lisa.

But, if we do find ourselves on the Hemingway trail, I will photograph the highlights and post them here because that is what I do, make notes along the way, whether they are about the birds in the Bird Park or the bar where Hemingway drank. But, speaking of birds, it was cool this morning watching the river of swallows swirling above the dome of the old cathedral down the alley and rushing through the narrow corridors of buildings in our neighborhood in search of breakfast. We are on the fifth (top) floor and the windows are always open. It is very hot and the apartment has no air conditioning, or screens for that matter. But today we are headed out to the museum. We are in Madrid for the museums, especially the Prado. Not only did Hemingway frequent the place, Picasso was the head curator for some time. This was before the museum realized what shitty administrators artists make.

Castles and their spiders

Walking in Sintra

One of the coolest things about Lisbon is all the medieval castles, palaces and other historic sites open to the public for a minimal fee. Each is fascinating in its own right but our favorites were in Sintra, part of the greater Lisbon area. Sintra has such a rich history that the town itself is a World Heritage Site. We got there twice, one day exploring the Pena National Palace and Castelo dos Mouros (Castle of the Moors) and the next Quinta da Regaleira and the Sintra National Palace.

The inverted tower

Of those, it's hard to pick which is my favorite. OK. Quinta de Regaleira, otherwise known as "The Palace of Monteiro the Millionaire". Monteiro was a true eccentric, a lover of esoterica, the occult, science and nature all brought together with incredible theatrical detail at his estate which is also a World Heritage Site.

Duck pond from a cavern passageway

For us, wonderful as it is, the palace was second to the grounds surrounding it. It's full of exotic trees and plants, paths and ponds, wonderful stone carvings, statues, grottoes, caverns and towers, even strange inverted towers and underground passageways all a collaboration between Monteiro and the great Italian set designer and architect Luigi Manini. After traipsing around the tunnels, we decided they were part of a structure built to look like a mountain rather than tunnels actually dug into one, i.e. a theatre set. All the better.

Minerva at Quinta da Regaleira

We had great fun discovering a few of the more obscure, darker, wetter places between the inverted towers. As for the towers themselves, built into the ground rather that rising above it,  whatever they symbolize, the nine levels of hell, purgatory and/or rebirth, Monteiro's day in they were the scene of secretive Tarot initiation rites and other esoteric ceremonies, and probably augmented with a selection of the world's then finest psychedelics. We did, of course, walk the nine levels and grope our way through as many secret passageways and subterranean grottoes as we could find. I'm not sure we achieved esoteric rebirth but, for my part, I'll settle for none of the resident big black spiders coming away with me in my hair.

Swami on the balcony

The Secret Buddha
of Castelo dos Mouros

In the last two weeks, we also visited museums, the best being the Musea Berardo in Belem, walked through several medieval cathedrals and ate far too many pastéis de nata, Portuguese egg tarts. Decidedly, the best are in Belém but I will say no more. I think it best you come here to decided for yourself. Also we just walked, as is our custom. The narrow, winding, slippery cobblestone streets definitely fit my medieval fantasy. And, as Lisbon is built on seven hills, we walked up and down a helluva lot of narrow, winding slippery cobblestone stairs, including the four flights of narrow, steep, potentially slippery stairs in our charming centuries old apartment building in the Alfama. And after a long day, we also climbed the final fifth flight to our bedroom where we crashed each night like felled trees. My legs are decidedly stronger. Of course, there are more photos at flickr and more to come. It's just that it all takes time. Now we leave for Madrid where, among other things, we must visit the Museo del Prado.

Hilarious complaints to Thomas Cook Vacations

This list of complaints sent to "Thomas Cook Vacations" is making the rounds these days. I didn't take the time to hunt down the source link but they certainly match my neighbor's tone when he returned from his month long cruise around South America. He complained bitterly how offended he was that the people there spoke Spanish.

1. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."
2. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

More here from the UK's Telegraph

Walking Lisbon

My main focus here in Lisbon is to get out of here without breaking my neck. Lisbon is the city of stairs, stairs and more stairs. Our apartment is four narrow, slippery flights up and the bedroom is yet another. Lisbon is a lovely town and, don't get me wrong, I enjoy exploring the medieval streets but good god. Okay. That's it for now. We're going to go out again and wander around. I'm going to wear my new orange sandals. Wish me luck.

Street music from Istanbul

I love these guys. Everybody did. Great fun. We came upon them in Katakoy which is across the Bosphorus Strait on the Asian side of Istanbul. Enjoy.

Culbenkian and friend

Yesterday I got schooled at the Calouste Gulbenkian Museum, all in a very friendly manner of course. I said "good afternoon" in Spanish (buenas tardes) instead of Portuguese (boa tarde) and was reminded that "in Portugal we speak Portuguese". The fellow had a sense of humor about it all so I thanked him sincerely in French. We then went on to discuss the correct pronunciation of "thank you" in Portuguese, (obrigado if you're male, obrigada if you're female). As this language site points out, in Portugal pronunciation is everything.

"Then said they unto him, Say now Shibboleth: and he said Sibboleth: for he could not frame to pronounce it right. Then they took him, and slew him." – Judges 12:6

Delightful elephant

Calouste Gulbenkian was, during his life, one of the world's wealthiest men. He was also an art lover who created, what is considered, one of the greatest private collections. We were both blown away by the number of unique, lovely pieces in his trove. According to his will, upon his death, this museum was created. Generally, photos I take in art museums are lackluster. I leave that to other people. However, I think this charming elephant, done on a huge, gorgeous Chinese porcelain plate, bridges the gap. I suspect this artist had never seen an elephant.

Conversation with myselves

Selfie in Istanbul

I just can't keep up with myself, especially when we're traveling. For instance, after two weeks in Istanbul, I have thus far only managed to post something about Flat Thea. 

Three women under an umbrella

Much as I treasure Flat Thea, this doesn't even begin to touch on the experiences we had there and impressions I came away with. My Istanbul album at flickr has several more photos and many more to come. They do represent, at least, some visual record.

Shop outside the Grand Bazaar

They may be as far as I get but they are important to me as, if nothing else, this blog is a conversation between my past and future selves.

Inexplicable

Lisbon, first day

Our apartment in the Alfama district

We arrived yesterday and got a cab from the airport to the Alfama district. We'll be staying here for the next two weeks. Our very friendly airbnb host greeted us at the door. The apartment is lovely and airy with a view of the Tejo river, a welcome site as our place in Istanbul looked out on a wall several stories high. It did become the scene of a gripping small world drama but more about that later.

Cat on the ledge
a view of the Alfama from our apartment

The Alfama district is the oldest district in Lisbon and a labyrinth of narrow, winding stone streets. During Moorish rule it was home to fishermen and the poor. The Alfama was also the only part of the city to survive the earthquake and tsunami of 1775 which almost completely destroyed the rest of Lisbon. I can't imagine how horrifying it must have been watching the tsunami pull the water back revealing, according to records from the time, "a sea floor littered with lost cargo and shipwrecks".

Ok. Gotta go. It's time for a customary first day in a new country, make-do, shitty sandwich then a walk. If you want to read more about Lisbon, I recommend reading the Never Ending Voyage. They do a fine post on Lisbon. Though I travel a lo t these days, this isn't really a travel blog. And there's always my go-to site, Wikipedia, if you want to read more about Lisbon. Cheers.

Flat Thea, maps and computer glitches

Flat Thea and kitteh

This is where the post about Flat Thea was supposed to be. But no. By whatever twist of fate, whatever ill wind, bad karma, goddamn computer glitch, blogger fuck up, some Sultan's cranky ghost or, nearly impossible to consider, but perhaps because of something I did, I don't know, but when I was nearly done I undid something, a totally ordinary action, and the post vanished. After that, try though I did, there was no way to retrieve it. Gone.

Flat Thea at the Topkapi Palace
(Top-cop-ie)

Thea, our six-year old granddaughter, made Flat Thea in kindergarten as part of a geography project and we got to participate. Photograph Flat Thea wherever we go and send Thea the photos. Then she takes them to school and adds them to a map along with all the other kid's photos of their Flat "whoevers" wherever they've been over the past few weeks. This post started as a few outtakes but, as is often the case with me, it got complicated.

Flat Thea at Hagia Sophia
(Eye-ya Sophia)

First I included a description of Topkapi Palace, then the briefest mention of the city, cities, that have flourished on the banks of the Bosphorus for the last two thousand years. No surprise given that the Bosphorus Strait is a very important waterway connecting the Black Sea to the Mediterranian and North Atlantic as well as being part of the boundary between Europe and Asia. Once I did that, of course, I had to include some mention of the Sultans, harems, eunuchs and how young princes were strangled with a silken cord to reduce challenges to the crown prince yet avoid the spilling of royal blood. And just as I was done, and adding the photos, poof! A flick and everything vanished and I could not get it back. Now you will have to imagine all that for yourself, or read Wikipedia like I did. I have no heart to go on.

Flat Thea in Istanbul

Since arriving nine days ago, we have visited all but one of the "must see" sites and otherwise wandered around Istanbul straining to catch glimpses of ancient Byzantium, great lost Constantinople and Istanbul of today. Today we will take a ferry up the Bosphorus strait to the Yoros Castle from which we will be able to at least get a glimpse of something that has fascinated me since childhood, the Black Sea. And today, Swami, Minerva and Flat Thea will join us. They all want to see for themselves if the Black Sea is really black. I've told them all it's not but they refuse to believe me.

Istanbul with yellow Swami and company

Swami, on the road again

It's great traveling with yellow Swami again. We've been in Istanbul for three days now. It's an amazing place but it's too late to go into it tonight, especially as the next few days we're aiming for an early start. Just wanted to check in. That is all.

Oh my god! It's Bad Mother's Day again!

source: http://www.condenaststore.com

 Crap. Yesterday was Mother's Day. That means today is Bad Mother's Day again! Our day, ladies. So I forgot for a few years. Ok! OKKKK! Five. Come on. Five little years and you're all weepy? Geeze! Whatdoyawantfromme? Flowers? Not gonna happen. When did any of you ever send me flowers? That's right. NEVER. Fergetaboutit. Get yer own.


On the other hand, if you are the child of a bad mother and yet, in spite of that, are still such a generous and thoughtful person that even now you want to send your bad mother a gift, I am here to help. Here a few sure fire gift suggestions for you:

1) Buy something on sale at the dollar store or thrift shop. It will make yer mama proud seein how frugal you are. After all, it was she who taught you that a penny saved (by not spending it on you) was a penny earned (that she could spend on herself).

2) Can't take her out to dinner on The Big Day? Send her a box of instant mac n cheese. She'll be feasting in a matter of minutes. Plus you'll get credit for being thrifty. (see #1)

3) Send her a bouquet of dandelions. She never seemed to notice when you picked them for her when you were a kid. They're so beautiful and will go nicely with dinner. (see #2) And if you don't send her the mac n cheese (see #2 again), she can eat them.

Nothing says it better than dandelions
source: http://sparkingsynapse.com

LA, the beginning

While, officially, we "launched" a couple of weeks ago, LA really marks the beginning of the trip. Oregon is family. The airbnb place we're renting belongs to a woman in the movie business .... set design etc.. The decor here is a cross between 1930's thrift store chic and its dumpster out back. M. Lee, who is more kindly disposed to the display, describes it a prop warehouse. I'm sure he's right. Why else stuff some twenty dilapidated plaid suitcases of various bright colors under the bed? And the rooms are stuffed with everything from ancient phones, croquet sets, movie posters, animal skins, dishes, neon hotel signs, typewriters, cameras, antiquish bathroom scales, tennis racquets, spent bullets, rusty old coffee cans and lanterns to a wall of framed paint-by-numbers landscapes. In a word, crammed. Drives me not so quietly crazy which drives him crazy.

Our first day here, right off the plane, we took his mom to her favorite thrift store, a chain called Council Thrift. She found a white jacket she really liked and put it on to get M.'s opinion before buying it then went off to the cashier, still wearing it, and purchased her own coat, still in hand, for the grand price of five bucks. Later, realizing what she'd done, she was mortified. Luckily, she's a good sport because we're getting a lot of mileage out of it.

Off to Disney Land

And tomorrow we "do lunch" with Thea Bella, her gorgeous, green-haired, 15 year-old sister, mom and dad. They are, at this moment, en-route to Disney Land. Lucky for us, our paths just happen to cross because the next day we leave for Istanbul.

Sonder

T plus 6 days

Blowing dandelions

We're launched and, sadly, that means the Bird Park is closed. Of course, the house sitter keeps one seed tube filled for the little birds but it's too much to ask anyone to do what I do. Damn. Just when it was getting interesting. Maggie Magpie had become comfortable with me being out in the yard with her and Charlie the crow was dropping by mid-morning for his own, private snack. He selected a spot as far away from the main area in the Bird Park as possible, a section of fence under the trees right outside the kitchen window, and from there called until I came out and gave him his peanuts. If we were around more, no telling how this might develop. In summers past he'd perch on the fence opposite my office window, where the main area in Bird Park is located, and pitch his case. That bird can sweet talk. But now we're gone. I'm sure Maggie will keep an eye on things. She always shows up within a day of our return.

Pizza night

But now we're on the road. Of course, as usual, we're starting our adventure in Portland. Gotta see the gkids. The other day four-year old Leo took us to Reed Canyon, a lovely little ravine on the campus of Reed College which is, to Reed's credit, still quiet enough to support nesting ducks and geese. As for Thea, she is currently learning about the universe in kindergarten science class and has "definitely decided, no doubt about it," that I am an alien.

Baby Chance

Breakfast with crows

The crows are dining at the Bird Park this morning. Minerva and I are delighted. They are our honored guests, well not guests, members, honored members. We've been home since January and only recently have they've decided to trust us. They stop by briefly almost every morning now. The fellow munching kibble on the little plastic table is actually much bigger and cooler then he appears here. I took this photo with my cellphone. I don't have a "real" camera at the moment. As I mentioned in the previous post, M. Lee has taken over the Sony. I will have a camera for the trip, a Panasonic Lumix, but it's currently en route to his mom's place in Oregon as we are now in the final countdown and will be going there first. How do they say it when they're launching a space shuttle? T-minus? Around here it is now T-minus 9. I'm already missing my birds.